Love is not blind ; lovers are.

I'm a fighter ; Never a lover.

2010-08-22T06:10:00.002+08:00

I dont have much time left.
I gotta tell my mum about my pregnancy..
BUT i don't have the heart to hurt her again..
i need someone special to guide me..
someone to be by my side when i broke the news to her..
BUT that someone seems to avoid this topic when i tried to ask for his help..
thought we're in it together but it seems that i'm alone when it comes to all this..
i made up my mind.. & there's no turning back..
i'm not gonna state it in here..
time will tell everything...
i hate my life..
i hate everything..
the main reasons why i'm still standing strong..
is just for the sake of my junior..
for if not, i wont be here updating this blog of mine..
i still love him but i sense there's something wrong with us..
everything.. everytime..
i just find it weird..
*sigh* i'm sick of my life..
sick of pretending & saying i'm ok all the time,
when the truth is that i'm not!
it hurts to lie to urself okeyy!
& u guys shudn't do that aytes..
i just want my simple life like before...........
how i wish i could turn back time....

:(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :((

Murder i Wrote.

2010-07-24T02:48:00.004+08:00

I hate Winnie the Pooh!

I didnt get a valentine's card this year, why?

Coz when he said he loves me, he don't mean it!

Momma wanted to get me engaged but him?

Been a long a time since he express his LOVE towards me.

& ohhh.. 1 more thing..

He's got a blog! zielady blahblahhblahh.

Guess he's so into her.

I'm dumb, ain't i??

He's always busy..

He wanted that girl to get pregnant..

but he dont mind when she's not pregnant..

He cant even wait to marry her..

I just found out that he's got a blog.

zielady blah blahh blahhh..

geeshh! He must be so into her huh?

Am i selfish? I think i am.

Maybe that's the reason why he's acting differently..

He don't wanna marry me..

He don't wanna make any promises to me..

BUT when it comes to me...

When i asked bout marriage??

His response crushed me.

i felt like my soul just left me after those words when out his mouth.

Bitter. Sour. Sweet. i just dont know what it felt.

It tasted like blood.

(voices from my DARK side)

BITCH! STOP UR SELFISHNESS!

Just fcuking ditch him.

He may be the one for u,

but ur not the one for HIM!

Eventhough you're pregnant but still,

there's no use clinging on to him.

He won't wanna keep the baby.

He won't marry YOU!! YES you!

Just accept the facts.

He's just testing water with you..

He's not serious!

GOSHH! I just felt my whole world collided.

Everynights i cried..

Locked myself up in my dark room all by myself..

Singing. Crying. Talking. Laughing. All. By myself.

I put a strong look for others to look at.

Even my family..

I'm having trouble to walk straight now,

'coz my back really hurts..

my foot.. they're swelling..

I'm putting up an act just for this baby..

I hope when i'm in labour,

IF my friends or even you(ARDY) are questioned by the doctor..

Please kindly tell the doctor not to save my life.

I just wanna end it there.

I cant bear with my life anymore..

I wanna be with my Daddy.

Enough is enough.

& Ardy. You should go on with the girl whom u really love.

You dont have to put up an act

& pretend that u love me wholeheartedly.

'coz i can somehow sense that ur not being true to me..

I'm sorry if i hurt anyone by posting this blog.

I just had to do this.

Sorry everyone once again.

I gotta back off.

I'm too upset.

& Junior, Mummy's very VERY sorry.

P.S : ardy, if my junior is a boy, named it. Andi Marizuan. That's what u've wanted all along right. I know, I love you & i really mean it. Thanks for everything.

Guys, dont worry. I'm not commiting suicide yet. but for sure i will once Junior's out :D

Sorry Divas ! & thanks for the guidance!

Kimmy 24th July 2010, 0308hours, Saturday.

2010-06-23T17:27:00.002+08:00

Questions are rising regarding my 2nd pregnancy. I cant help it but cry every nights. When the closest person let out everything to me everything last night. I sweared i wont depend on him anymore. Neither should he. I regret giving everything for Love. In return i gain nothing. My birthday is around the corner. I'm thinking of hitting the club. Anyone up for it? Just holla at me. I aint give a damn anymore. Noone's controlling my life. & i'm so freaking not controlling anyone's before! Shits just happen. Whatever! He always thinks he's right. What goes around comes around. He'll suffer next. I hate to curse but people made me this way. No comments. Oh. Is there anyone out there who's willing to hit my tummy? I gotta end this suffering sooner or later. I dont wanna live in sins. Lets just end it. If there is someone out there, just holla aytes!!

p.s : I'd rather die along with my baby rather than carrying on living & killing the baby.

Broken Hearted Girl

2010-06-14T15:33:00.002+08:00

Noone ever control me.

but u came & overtake my life..

I just kept quiet..

Endured all the shits..

& now i've been fooled again..

All those kisses...

All those sweet words...

All those tight hugs...

are just ways to satisfy your Lust....

Dont ever say "I miss you, Dear" ,

If im not that girl....

Dont ever say "I Love you" ,

IF u dont even mean it....

Now it's true....

Why u get all mad when i kept asking u,

"I'm only gonna break,break, break your heart...."

That's the song u keep on listening to....

& now it turned out true...

I'm so disappointed in u....

Thanks for letting me in ur life.....

& have a baby by you.....

wish upon a shooting star ((:

2010-04-16T03:56:00.004+08:00

When she stares at your mouth ,
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dummie cause she thinks shes stronger than you ,
Grab her and dont let go

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough ,
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet ,
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you ,
Give her your atttention

When she pulls away ,
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst ,
Tell her she is beautiful

When you see her start crying ,
Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking ,
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared ,

Protect her

When she steals your favorite hoodie ,
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you ,
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time ,
reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt ,
Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you ,
she really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands ,
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you ,
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret ,
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes ,
dont look away until she does

When she says it's over ,
she still wants you to be hers
(Now Baby,you know what i mean right?)

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because ten years later she'll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
-Treat her like she's all that matters to you
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid
- Give her the world.
- Let her wear your clothes
-When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
-Let her know she's important.
- Don't talk about other girls around her
- Kiss her in the pouring rain
- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
"Whose ass am i kicking baby?"

In fact, Boo did some of it before. he did touched my heart for once. with all the surprises he gave to me.. i'm happy coz ur happy baby.. let's just keep it this way aytes. i love you!

2010-04-08T12:05:00.002+08:00

been a long time huh since i update this bloggy of mine? hahaha. been busy these few days. sorry peeps. recently i went to the dentist. had a wisdom tooth operation. the dentist cut off some of my gums, pulled out that wisdom tooth & sew my gums back. i have 2 stitches ((: yeah,OUCH! hahaha.
i miss my guyfrens & my galfrens so much. i miss them truckloads. honestly. my best galfrens dont even bother to look me up ever since that day. gosh. maybe im in the wrong. i didnt care bout ur feelings. forgive me honey. u know i still love my bf. i dont know what more i should do to make u forgive me. i feel so guilty. to Vincent *sigh* there's alot to talk. i hope we get to meet for once & talk like we used to. *winks*
Bf. pffft. no comment. giving him his freedom once more. i know! a leopard wont change its spot easily. ok! lets not talk bout him. i dont wanna spoil my mood while updating my blog! ((:
to that fellow someone, whoever u are. mind if u just tell me who u really are? curiousity! dude, i hate surprises.
OH! i look older liao! FUCKKK!! momma said it's because bf is older than me. Bf took away my youth & i look old. pffft. i dont want to look old!!

The Bitchy Side of Me (:

2010-03-26T02:23:00.002+08:00

There was a typical night when Boo slept over & i was shocked to find out that Erni Noorjanah, who happened to be Boo's Ex-GF, text him in the mid of the night! Truth out. I was mad. Curiousity arise. So i pretended to be okay for the night but when the sun rise & Boo was out for werk. i went online & check Boo's Fb account. I was shocked to see that Boo "had" been chatting with HER. i didnt know if Boo did / did not chat coz i cudn't view their recent chats. So i was like WTF ah. I made the 1st move by sending that TART a message through Fb. & here it goes ((:

Kimberly Hasimen March 24 at 12:44pm
woits minah! puki dah gatal sgt pe? tk ckp satu konek? jantan aku pon kau nk go pe? pakai otak la weii.. dah ckp matured tpi otak mati. pfft.

BeeDiva Heart Maself March 24 at 6:03pm
ehk .. aku taw lh tu jantan kaw .. nie bkn puki dh gatal taw puki misken .. klu jady org tk bleh buat kwn .. pegy sembunyikan jantan kaw lh dohh .. aku mls arh nk gado psl 1 konek .. so ,, iam2 pon cantek and aku tk entertain org mcm nie .. sowie !! ..

Kimberly Hasimen March 24 at 6:06pm
aku tk mintak di-entertain. klu dah tau tu jantan aku, asl nk kne msg die? tkd jantan lain pe nk msg? klu ko pikir ko nk buat kwn, gi carik ah pat luar. asl mesti jantan aku? aku tknk jantan aku bwak penyakit dari ko ah. drill that to ur head.

BeeDiva Heart Maself March 24 at 6:18pm
aku pe yg bwk penyakit .. kalu aku dh mengamok .. dh susa .. jady ,, lebih baik .. kaw tutop kaw pey mulot and kaw pey cemburu bute tuu .. aku dh mls nk lyn dh .. kaw bleh simpan kaw pey jantan ,, aku dh mls nk berkwn nan jantan kaw lagy .. fyi ,, klu jady org tuu ,, jgn jady bdh kalu org tgh berkwn .. FAHAM EHK !! .. ku beramboz skg pon cantek .. chow !! ..

Kimberly Hasimen March 24 at 6:25pm
yar think? jantan aku per? haha! kau nk mengamok? go on ah! ingt aku heran sgt pe? hahaha. kau nk berkwn ke tknk tu kau peh pasal. aku tk ingin tau. just one LAST verbal warning. if ever i were to find out anything that involves u again.. just watch ur back lil biatch! i hv my eyes on u. *winks* ur messing with the wrong bitch FYI.

BeeDiva Heart Maself March 24 at 6:27pm
bitch ke biat ke .. tu kaw peyy psl ehk .. aku lagy tk HERAN kaw nk watch my bek ke ape lanchaw .. =) lu tc suda ..

Kimberly Hasimen March 24 at 6:30pm
lu gua pe? paisey ah aku tk mkn babi siol. ko tcre lagik baik. dont go around farking other ppl's bf & PLS practise safe sex ;)

BeeDiva Heart Maself March 24 at 6:36pm Report
tu kaw peyy psl arh kaw mkn babi ke tk .. kaw dh knape arh pompan ?? .. kaw nie dh melampaw lh plak kn .. ehk kimberly hasimen ,, READ DIZ FUCKIN MSG EHK !! .. KALU KAW RASE AKU NIE FUCKIN ARD WIT PPL'S BF ,, EU SLH ORG SISTA .. KAW TU JEK YG CEMBURU NK MAMPOS !! .. jady ,, jgn nk ckp banyak .. paham ehk pompan ..

Kimberly Hasimen March 24 at 6:42pm
aku dah knaper? u should be asking that question to urself instead. aku cumer nk nasihatkn kau jek coz i know ur bckground. information ketat la siol. hahaha! tu pasal aku tknk jantan aku get any nearer to u. get it loser? aku cemburu pon ade tmpt.

BeeDiva Heart Maself March 24 at 6:59pm
abeh .. big fuck arh kaw taw bekground aku .. aku taw lh kwn kwn kaw knl aku .. ehk .. mulot org .. ppl cn sae anythin they lyk .. bt they are nt me so they dun noe tt im not into anythyn .. nie org yg jage tepy kain org ,, mulot mmg mcm siot ajek .. dh lh kim ,, aku dh tk kuase lagy nk lyn nie semua .. sng ,, kaw buat hal kaw .. aku buat hal aku .. aku mls nk panjang2 cite .. merepk arh .. psl batang nk gado .. tk heran lh .. makin aku lyn kaw ,, makin paranoid aku jady nyer .. jady ..

Kimberly Hasimen March 24 at 7:17pm
ntah la ehk. aku pon malas nk jage tepi kain org. but 1 thing that despise me. u noe i noe. im not here to make enemies. ur big enuff to think 4 urself. dont make text u here again. make this the last time. for if not, u'll hv to bear the consequences. peace out.

BeeDiva Heart Maself March 24 at 7:20pm
sign off !! ..

She may think that it's over but HELL NO baby. I aint letting u off that easily. You don't know me yet Slut. & Boo, we still have lotsa things to discuss. I'm not satisfied still ((:

2010-03-09T00:34:00.003+08:00

Shits happen.

-Thiyagu gonna get terminated. (Wonder if i'm next)

-Had fights with Boo. (Yeah, we just had one 'coz Boo didnt send me home but nvm i'll be fine!)

-Shortage of daily pocket money. (Always have to ask Boo for pocket money. TSK!)

-No life!!!!! (I need more rest days Mr. Supervisor)

-Shortage of company bikes. (Due to.... *giggles*)

-Not enough time spend with Family. (Sorry Momma, will bring u guys out for Seafood on my pay)

-Cell phone suck! (Eventhough i charged my phone but the battery is never full!)

-Silly accidents at work. (Back tyre give way & self skidded at carpark.)

Last of ALL,

-I MISS DADDY!! (whenever i go for my break,i'll see a loving family. I tend to get jealous)

My girlfriends getting married soon. I've always wondered if ever my turn will come. I've always thought of myself in a wedding gown without a groom. *sigh* I've plan to get married when i'm 23years old. Do you think it's too soon for me? Or is it too early for me?? Hmmm. I don't know!

I don't wanna be like Britney Jean Spears! I don't wanna be like Jessica Simpsons! I don't need a purrrrr-fect wedding. All i want is a guy who could make me happy all my life. Won't change his feelings towards me after marriage. Our circle of trust should be equal by then! That's a must!!! For i don't wanna be a fool as to believe guys' lies after marriage. Such things should stop by then.

.....but i don't think it'll be easy for Boo if he were to marry me ):

Right Baby?? Guess my questions will be left unanswered. & i don't think i 'll be getting married at that age either!! TSK!!! Congratulations to you GFs who are happily married now. Last long with your hubbies!

i miss my bitches

2010-03-01T02:13:00.002+08:00

ever since that big fight with Boo, i've been having difficulties contacting my best friend! AIN! where are you?! are you avoiding me? please dont leave me. i need you still. you know that. TSK. DD will be having a new member real soon. *winks* & Boo, i've been having difficulties putting trust in you. i've lost all my faith in you ever since that day. i know u've tried ur best to convince me that u love me. i'm scared you'll still be the same. you're always finding faults with me. every little thing i did, is wrong to you. i dont get it. i could see that you've been contacting ur EX-gf, Bee. saw u exchanging comments on Fb.i guess u miss her. well i mean, she's cute. she has the ideal body that you've wanted. you keep on saying i've put on weight n etc. how the hell am i gonna put this darned weight off me this fast?! i've been trying to do so from last time. each time once a few kilos lost, i'll eat more due to stress! i guess i'll still stay the same & u'll start hating me as time pass. bout ur other ex, Ziela. i kept on hearing you saying "Pompan aku yg, Ziela..." blahh blahh! how wud u feel if i said that. hmmm. i doubt u realise all this. i'll give u ample time to think bout all this. u'll be getting ur freedom pass real soon. coz i've made up my mind. i'm not paying for my fines. it's better to serve the charges. i dont know when u'll read this post of mine. i just hope things get better for us. you ever said, things got worst instead for the better. i'm still hut for your info. this pain will stay fresh in my mind forever. iLOVEyou Boo. I'll missyoou more.

CURRENT ADDICTS :

Hati Yang Kau Sakiti - Rossa

jangan pernah katakan bahwa

cintamu hanyalah untukku

karna kini kau telah membaginya

* maafkan jika memang kini

harus kutinggalkan dirimu

karna hatiku selalu kau lukai

** tak ada lagi yang bisa ku lakukan

tanpamuku hanya bisa mengatakan apa yang ku rasa

reff:ku menangis membayangkan

betapa kejamnya dirimu atas diriku

kau duakan cinta inikau pergi bersamanya

ku menangis melepaskan

kepergian dirimu dari sisi hidupku

harus slalu kau tahu

aku lah hati yang telah kau sakiti

repeat *, **repeat reff

ku menangis

harus slalu kau tahu

aku lah hati yang telah kau sakiti

2010-02-20T13:33:00.000+08:00

i sense life is getting better!! im lovng it.

" i might not be here tomorrow "

2010-02-10T12:39:00.002+08:00

Shit happens. AGAIN. yess. i slept in the bus while going back home from work ytd. it made Boo & Momma worried. how the hell am i gonna call any of them?? i only had 2bucks & a few cents with me when i wanna go to work. i've used up all the cents to call up Momma & Boo. i've spent the 2bucks to buy Panadol & a drink. TSK! i thought i didnt wanna trouble any of them so i walked all the way home from Tampines. i swear it's tiring. i'm so shagged plus Migraine.. got home got scoldings from Boo. i dont mind 'coz i know he cared.. but it got worst when Boo found out that i lied few days back.. pfft. My bad. & now Boo posted a sarcastic shout out on his Fb. i dont mind, i dont care.. go & tell everyone.. I've been a bad gf.. it's not like as if i went out f*cking other guys. i dont get it. i dont wanna say anything 'bout him here. i dont wanna expose anything 'bout him anymore. it's his private life & i dont wanna spoil his image.. Whatever argh.

MidSummerNiteBreeze

2010-02-08T01:58:00.000+08:00

what a day today.! a big day for me today! terribly 'big' day :C Boo,im sorry.. iLOVEyou.. i hv a craving to club.. weird! i knw! hahaha.. boo allow me to club,he said he'll fetch after club.. it'd be better if he cud tag along though! coz i've been spike bfore n dat is the worst incident ever. usually i cud hold my liquor. a group of Chinese guys offered me n gf a glass. we dint tink otherwise n shared the drink. within a few mins,we lost our senses. i nearly got raped! fcuk! lucky the securities helped me. hmm.. ouhkay. juz sharing a short story to u here. coz gf n me hv been talking bout tis frm juz nw! hahah. i'm missing Boo now. wonder if he's still mad at me.. forgv me Darla! :C

♥ Crystal & Coke

2010-02-04T03:52:00.003+08:00

do follow me on Tumblr. the-bitch-you-envy.tumblr.com its a website where i describe my sucked up life in colors & photography. oh. Boo.. i'm soorryyy if i pissed u off yesterday. i felt sucky the whole day. that shitty company aint passing me ma cheque yet. i didnt do my duties either. that's why i had to ask u for ur friends' plate number. Premas? Fucked up Co.? as what people say? i guessed so. ohh btw! Boo, we need to talk. i've been wanting to talk to u bout this but i tends to forget about it the moment i met u! or either ur too busy to talk. i dont wanna disturb u when ur busy coz i dont like seeing you getting mad! like that night! Damn !! it's got something to do with ur promises to me. hmmm.. somehow i miss Boo to the core xia! eventhough we argue over the "SMALLEST" issue! (*thinks* does he feel the same way too?) *shrugs* Boo still cant have trust on me. i dont understand why. gawd. its hard at times. when it comes to his part, i tried not to play jealous & just forced myself to think positive. though this guilt is eating me up slowly. hell yeah it's killing me. pfft. gonna stop this shit for now. am too shagged! my eyes are too heavy. i miss BOO!! miss his kisses! miss his smell! everything! uh-oh. dont tell me! im not obsessed hor! noNO! LMAO! ouhkayyy shut UP! *winks*

♥ Ardy Mirza

2010-02-02T06:17:00.000+08:00

I want to cut myself again and hope that if I push deep enough, I'll die. It's better than being without you for this long. ♥ARDY

2010-02-02T02:31:00.002+08:00

where should i go after this? i know.! find me at Yishun Dam. i'll be sleeping there soon. dont worry. i know how to take care of myself. i dont need anyone's help anymore. not Boo, not my family, not my FCUKING cousins & friends. i dont need anyone by my side at the moment. i just wanna be alone. yes. ALONE. get that right. dont find me. i repeat. Dont Even try to find me!! GDBYE!
P.S : vomitted blood. dying soon? i guess so.

2010-02-02T02:05:00.002+08:00

Missing Daddy. Life is full of hardship ever since Daddy left us. I've been struggling to pull through this SUCKY life of mine! ERGHH! working with the Premas is full of craps. overtime. coverage! stoo-pid people. we had to carry out our duty & yet motorists still have the cheek to use vulgarities towards us! MuthaF*ckas! Uncle : I burn your house ah! Where you stay?! F*cking BullS*hit. i was like WTF?! we'll see hor UNCLE who will be burning who instead. *evil LAUGHS* Craps. having my own problems + family! it aint easy i tell u. OH! actually i put my blog link on my Fb. but i deleted it off coz strangers tend to trespass. i dont like ok. & oh people. u'll find it hard to reach me. Just buzz me at my crib. hopefully u'll get me. coz if not i'll be at work. taking care people. if u were to realise, i didnt update anything 'bout Boo. i dont think i'll be updating bout Boo here. depends ah! haha! *cheers* ImissYOU.

on HIATUS

2010-01-31T13:15:00.001+08:00

sorry for the delay people. been busy with work lately. will relink u soon,Zila. & Boo. i dont have time to make any changes to my blog yet. please be considerate. you know i know. BUSY.

2010-01-25T02:42:00.002+08:00

Boo have been finding faults with me recently. There was a time when he got so mad when he found out that i read his text messages. Boo shouted at me till i cried.! i was supposed to go to work. P.S: i was LATE. damn F*CKING late! The other time was when Abg Aziz look for me through Boo's cell. Stoopid Elfian. why do u hafta pass Abg Aziz Boo's number. I got scoldings in the morning. i was too shagged & had to provide explanations to Boo. PFFFT. Farked it. NOW, i'm mad at Boo.! he was supposed to text/call me! i texted him using WebSms. & it took him ages to reply! he didnt even tell me that he's chilling with his frens. DARNED IT. if u were in my shoes, i guess u'll flare up! it's ok. i'll pretend i'm ok! BUT dont think i'll keep quiet. sooner or later, i'll burst too! dont play with fire,Baby. NurulHakim = Fire & Blood. i'll just wait & see when ur gg to text me.

s(he) be(lie)ve(d)

2010-01-15T05:20:00.002+08:00

cell phone was down. stoo-pid cell ! i thought i did charged it sia. darned it. i realised my cell was down when it was 0146hours. -.- Boo's been texting me & fcuking me like hell. the moment i switched on my cell, Boo called! i was like WTF!! i knew it. Boo thought i went out & switched off my hp so he cudnt get thru my phone. ERGH~ i've had it. been enduring the pains. there was once when i really cudnt take it. Boo shouted at me in front of his FRIENDS! i ignored him. pretend that im fine. i covered my face with the tinted visor all the way. didnt wanna show him that i cried -.- pfft. enough ah. im tired of all this. this is really STUPID. honestly. it's just a small matter. i gotta get back to sleep. iLOVEyou ,Boo.

& Divas. meet up soon pls. i need your love.!

2010-01-10T05:20:00.002+08:00

i was supposed to hang out with my colleagues but then i told Boo that i could go home liao. So Boo told me to go home straight. Boo kept on calling & checking up on me. LOLS. I endure whatever shit im going through right now as i understand how Boo is feeling. PFFFT. when i got home, i called Boo straight away. Boo was at Yishun. Darned it. Boo could have fetch me home sia! i had to carry my helmet all the way back to Pasir Ris. how irritating it is with the bus fully loaded with passengers. ERGH! i didnt wanna argue so i told him to do whatever he's doing with his mates. i didnt wanna call/text him either. i lied down on the sofa & slowly fell asleep. Boo called me hours later & told me to get ready for he's OTW to my place & we're going out. I was shocked! Boo never asked me before. WEIRD but it's true. i got ready ASAP & waited for his call to say that he's under my void deck. when i stood at the front door, i peeped through door hole & saw someone standing. IT'S BOO! LOL. sweet. Boo came right to my doorstep. None of ex-boyfriends did that before. Boo used a nerd spec! Reminds me of his ex-girfriend, Bee. PFFT. i forced myself to get their pictures outta my head, tried not to get jealous over his past. went downstairs to meet his mates. some of his 125z peeps. We waited,waited & WAITED! Then one of them, Xanchi, i think! wanted to use the restroom. i asked to come up, they could use my bathroom. everyone came up & my family were shocked to see them. Then we proceed to CGH to pay a visit to Boo's mates who got into a bike accident yesterday. i dont really know how he got into the accident though. pity him. i could feel his sufferings. after that, we waited for the others at the carpark. then Boo, Me & Hafiz went to Geylang to get Momma's fags. then we meet the others back at Simpang Bedok. everything got haywired. one of them got their tyres punctured & even they ran out of fuel. i somehow feel that Boo is my SUPERHERO! ROFL. Boo always came to their rescue. SWEETS! then we went to Defu Lane to get his tyres changed. then to Pasir Ris Park to chill. then Boo sent me home. Actually Boo told me to take a bus home instead. Jerky side of him but i know Boo dont mean it for real. if Boo really mean it, i swear ima kill him! ERGH! i told Boo that i'll get my driver to send me home then Boo's face started to change. LOL i love to get him mad. about 0430am Boo send me home. Boo & Faizal going Jurong to get something,which i dont remember. Boo is supposed to call me once he reach home. I bet he'll forget bout that! HMPH! we'll see bout that! OH. Isdot texted me just now when i was at Simpang Bedok. i was so mad at him after i got to know that he made Yang 3mnths pregnant & he just left her like that. so irresponsible! hate him to the core! pity Yang sia. what's going on with this world. why are there still typicals MATREPS! why dont they just rot & DIE! hmmm. Should i help out at Pat's Parent's Shop today? i dont know if i should or not. coz i told Boo that i'm not working & i'll be meeting him today. HMPH. we'll see how it goes today. i'll just go with the flow. iLOVEyou BOO!

2010-01-07T02:21:00.003+08:00

guess who i met at work? Elfian!! My ex-date! hurhur. jyeahh! was surprised to see him. he did tried to hide from me. hahaha! but there's no way we cud run from each other. we'll be working together! hahaha! so yar. on my 2nd day of work with Premas, i had to tag along with him since Supervisor,Indra, went to meet his Gf,Sab, working at the same place too! i ride x1-r leyy! cool shit ah but im not into x1-r lor! hmphh. i prefer Boo's bike! hahaha. so yar. something very very bad happened yesterday. between me,Boo & Elfian. i had to work late till 2am++ with Elfian. i didnt get the chance to even check my cell. i've been busy tagging along with him to all the carparks. it was when i saw a cockcroach then i got a chance to look at my cell. DAMN! lotsa missed calls from Momma & BOO!! BOO was extremely mad at me. GOSHH! i was so afraid. i swear i did cried while i talked to him on the phone. he yelled at me not to ride Elfian's bike. i cud feel his anger. i noe how he felt. i've been thru it before. so i told Elfian to drop me off somewhere. Elfian thought of sending me home once he's done with 3 carparks but then he heard my conversations with Boo & decided to drop me off somewhere. i swear to Allah i cudnt face Boo after talking to him on the phone. Boo waited for me at 1 of the Shell Pump Station @ Yishun. Boo saw me walking & approah me with a limb in his left leg. tears rolled down my chubby cheeks seeing him walking that way. i apologized to him once i got near him. Boo was still mad at me. Boo, i'm really really sorry bout what happened. i didnt mean to get u worried like hell in spite of ur health. i blame myself for everythiing. & i wanna thanks you for having the initiative to get your so-called-army-hoodies-or-whatever from home to prevent me from getting cold. i just cudnt forgive myself for everything. serious-ly. Another mistake!! Boo wanted to go home 'coz Momma talked to Boo 'bout his sleep over & stuffs. I told Boo to stay & took his bike key to sleep with me. I didnt want Boo to ride while he's sleepy. i dont want anything to happen to him. *TOUCH WOOD* Boo was supposed to go to work @ 11am but i didnt wake him up as i promised him the night before. i didnt really want him to go to work. he's still recovering! with the way he walked that night! GAWD! i felt hurt. today! Boo asked me to clean up my FB frens' list. From 1,300+ friends to 874 friends! Watever! i dont see a need to be popular either! Boo told me to delete our mutual friends too. -___-" Boo told me to delete off his ex-gfs too. i was like "WTH" girls & girls dont do any harms right?? pffft! ANOTHER THING! Boo told me that the FUCKA! RAEZ! RAEZ! ERGHHH! IM SO SO SO MAD WITH THAT FUCKA! ERGHHH! i swear im gonna kill him real soon. im still stress with work. i cudnt everything in me! Oh btw. Tamps Central PO wants me back! hahaha. i told them i cudnt coz i signed contract with Premas alr & told them that Momma will replace me instead. hahaha!
P.S : i'm so missing Cinta!

2010-01-05T03:14:00.002+08:00

i fell asleep while waiting for Boo to come back home from work. received 3 messages. Atik woke me up yelling that someone is calling me. ringtone : Whatcha Say. That's Boo. he asked me what i was doing & why i didnt replied any of his messages. i didnt wanna say i was asleep. hahaha! dont really know why though. so yar. today was my first day of work with the Premas. Colleagues are a bunch of friendly peeps. assistant supervisor is the coolest one! he let me go off at 530pm! whoooo!! *partayPARTAY* asked Boo to fetch me home. i overslept this morning & had to asked Boo to send me to work since he slept over. Zila texted me & said that she got a call from Premas saying that she'll be working at Jurong West. LMAO. that's "near" !! once i reached home, i heat up the dishes in the kitchen & lay the table for Boo to eat. then send him off under the void deck as he was late for work! THEN!! @ 2211hours, Boo called me. he told me that he met with an accident while working. i didnt wanna believe it at first! i then get changed to go & fetch him from work. he said he dont think he cud ride coz his left palm is bleeding & wont be able to change gears. Ex-Bf, Amin called me. i asked him to send me over to Forum but he dont allow me to even go out! WTH. i asked Abg if he cud do me the favor but then he's at Lido. erghh! texted Hairil but he didnt reply so i took a cab instead. met Boo at Mcdonald's. i told him that i'll ride & he'll be the piillion. WTH. been a long time since i ride sia! erghh! 125z some more! his gears is jumbled up! i tried riding his bike once & told him im ready whereas I'M SO NOT!! i took the risk & just ride it. i do love my bike license hor. i just don't give a damn. after all i did if Boo still dont even appreciate it then urmmm, urmmmm~ IDFK! once i got home, Momma & me nursed Boo. Momma goes ewwwwwwww all the way. ROFL. then bandaged Boo's wound up & cooked something for Boo & Momma. Boo fell asleep on my laps while i watched Dvd. i checked him mobile. he's been contacting a few of this girls & there's like this nick for them. Gorgeous, Cutie. erggh! Wateveeerrrr~!! i'm trying my best not to be jealous that's why i'm blogging right now. Ziela Gorgeous.?? who the heck is she. hmmm..

Goodbye 2009, Welcome 2010.

2010-01-02T03:17:00.003+08:00

& it starts all over again. Am starting a new career soon. As enforcement officer with Premas. I hope Zila gets this job too. Btw, HAPPYNEWYEAR to my fellow friends. iLOVEyou guys. to my divas! i love you more. we gotta meet up soon!! am starting to miss u guys alot! so yaa. went to chill with Ain, Wan & friends, Ice & My Boo. was suppose to take a cab to meet them there. but Zila had to cancel it the last minute. So i had to ask Boo to send me there instead ^.^ sorry bbygirl i cudnt help u out with the cab fares ytd. i cudnt think of anything more to update right now. coz Boo is slpng over at my place now. hahaha! update again real soon aytes. *bigXOXO!*

BTW, MY HAIR IS ALL BLACK! WELL NOT TOTALLY BLACK & I THINK IM IN LOVE WITH IT *LMAO*

2010 is around the corner.

2009-12-31T05:37:00.002+08:00

thought of going drinking with Ain, Haida & ex-bf SyedZul. haha! i gotta work tmr. 12noon-2am. screw it! & BbyBaceyn! Where the heck are you? why arent u answering my calls.? he send & fetch me home. that's yar.. sweet of him. he told me he's heading home straight but when i called him, he said he's at a chalet. Fuck it. i miss him!! ERGHHH! ohh. baceyn said i could get a sparks for myself. he'll put name on his bike so i cud ride it if i wan to ((: so thoughtful of him.

Happy New Year everyone. May 2010 brings u happiness! ^.^

2009-12-26T23:36:00.002+08:00

** missing him MODE! ** i was at work, busy taking orders & looking at one "hawt" dude when suddenly out of nowhere a guy approach. I said to myself "Gawd, he's the cutest!" it took me a few minutes to finally come to my senses! It's BbyBaceyn!! I forgot that he's got a pit with his 125z Club peeps. He kissed me on the forehead & walked off. Sweet of him. Oh btw, that's his daughter. Mira Aaliyah Binte Ardy Mirza DOB : 17 July 2002

P.S : iLOVEyou

2009-12-26T05:12:00.004+08:00

It's only been 20 goodminutes since I kissed you,Come back boo, I miss you. Wish I had 20 million hours to caress you,And undress you, to be continued.. Boy you, you don't know how it feels when you whisper in my ear. Boy you, you give my body chills whenever you are near And boy I got your lovin' on my mind. I got your lovin' on my mind. You got me wrapped up, packed up. Ribbon with a bow on it. . I got your lovin' on my mindI got your lovin' on my mind. You got me wrapped up, packed up. Ribbon with a bow on it. Wrapped up, packed up. Ribbon with a bow on it. Wrapped up, packed up. Ribbon with a bow on it. Sometimes we argue and we figh. tBut they better know that that's my baby. You might even think he cute. But everybody knows that I'm his . Everytime you see us, we super fly. So proud he's by my side. He knows I'm ride or die. You don't know how we roll. Holla at your people. Boy you, you don't know how it feels when you whisper in my ear. Boy you, you give my body chills, whenever you are near.

ARDY MIRZA KAMALUDIN

DOB : 28 October 1982

2009-12-23T05:01:00.002+08:00

hey. im gonna update bout yesterday k? went out with BbyBaceyn. actually we arent a couple yet. i asked him & he said he dont want me to regret to be with him. whatcha say? LMAO. ok la fine, whatever. so yar. yesterday went out with him after work. went riding with him n etc. it was raining @ town. drizzling @ pasir ris too. he called me when he was @ PIE. i thought he wont ride in the RAIN!! now he's stuck in the rain. ergh! he insist to continue to ride & told me to get him a jacket as he's veryVERY cold. i thought i'll let him use my pink sweater. i bet he wont wanna use it coz DUDE! its pink! LOL. he called me again when he has arrived. i quickly got down. he gave me a surprise by sneaking behind me. lucky i didnt fall flat on my face as it was too slippery. i didnt saw him either! i only saw his bike parked right in front the lobby! pffft. pity him. all drenched & shivering in coldness. i gave him the pink sweater but he wanted to use the jacket im wearing. it's black in color but it's too small for him!! if he insist then.. i dont mind. ride here n there. saw an acccident on PIE after Tamps. pity the bike rider. geessh. i hate seeing bike accidents. i know how it is to be in an accident. ergh. i told him to be careful & be alert at all times. he smile & laughed! get serious will ya. & do u know why i couldnt slp now? 'coz i called him earlier. he's not home yet. called him using home phone. LOL. caught ya baby. but he dont tell lies. maybe not the time yet for him to lie huh? hahaha. heard a girl's voice in the background. WTH. i pretend to be fine. but HELL yeah im not. & i cant sleep now!! ur the main cause! hateYOU! ok! im jealous. WHY cant i?! AM i falling in love easily? there's advantages & disadvantages to it right? i hope im not making the wrong move again. HOPEfully. how i wish i cud turn back time. & wont have to worry bout all these junky stuffs.

P.S : can i junk? i feel the need to start over it again. boo-HOO!

2009-12-20T04:37:00.003+08:00

♥ bbybaceyn, Ardy Mirza Bin Kamaludin

when he's the only one who can make u smile
in the middle of ur bad day w/o even trying.. that's love.

FUCK Ayie & Raez.
I'm leaving Ayie for good.
& Raez, I wan my fucking PSP!

you are not worthy of my tears, ass!

pretty much the reason why i wanna get married in my twenties.

2009-12-20T03:42:00.001+08:00

When/if I get married, I want to be really married. I want to still get surprised with little love notes left on the bed, and meaningful gifts that no one else understands. I want to be able to have sex all the time, anywhere we want. I want to be a couple that people think, ‘wow they’re really in love, it’s sickening.’ I don’t want the passion to die out. I don’t want to get married just because I got ‘knocked up’ or because I don’t think I’ll ever have another chance.I want to get married for the right reasons.Maybe it’s not real, and maybe it’s a fantasy, but it’s still my fantasy.

the say they like the way i'm walking. . .

2009-12-18T20:03:00.003+08:00

hola. im back from CGH. i don't know why actually. my legs were too weak to even walk. doctors couldnt find out why either. LMAO. gundoo-ism. funny thing is. i told Dardar that i was warded & he don't believe me. WTH?! then thenext day Divas came to pay me a visit. Bby, Nana & Zila bought me a pack of Marlboro Ice Blast. niceNICE! keke. then Bby told me that she knows Dardar. guess it's true that Dardar is not the boyfriend kinda guy. should i still keep him or should i just let him go? i don't know. i tried calling him ytd but he didnt answered my calls. when i threatened him that i'll come down to his area then he picked up. he said he's at werk & had to answer to calls just now. Pathetic. i asked him why he deleted his Tagged account & he said better so no more girls. ROFL. wad a lame excuse. i tried not to think 'bout him. went online & chatted with Ardy Mirza. someone i've been contacting since last time. i admit i do have a crush on him but that was last time. he's a divorcee with a bbygirl 7yrs old. then he asked me when i'm gonna meet him. we've been contacting for quite a time but we didnt meet each other. no time (: yeahh. so i met him after isyak (supposed to be after maghrib,but he fell asleep!) he was wearing a sleeve-less checkered top with a long black cargo pants. he's cute!! honestly *melts* while i was with him, Dardar was never on my mind. maybe im too busy looking at him & smiling!! -__- he's plain cute! there was a time,he said he was thirsty. i suggest to walk. vending machine is available just 4/5 blocks away. we went to every vending machine but it's not werkingg!! damn! oh. saw Abg Fermin in a car. he shouted at me something, but i didnt quite hear him. Baceyn heard him tho. "Abg dah pass 2B & 3. Nti kiter race! " ROFL. i laughed all the way!! cant wait for the race ((: then we walked back to the playground where we sat earlier without any drinks! those UNO peeps kept looking at us. i just ignored them but Baceyn stared at them. then he suggest to ride to pump stations to get our drinks. i had a hard time to get on his bike. i cant feel my legs. Baceyn laughed at me. indeed he's a racer. he goes "weng,WENG,WENNGG" all the way. i got scared & hugged him tight! he asked me why but i told him i was cold. i dont want him to know that im scared. i mean HEY!! i'm a rider myself. been a longLONG time since i pilion!! right?!! but i did enjoy my time with him. i let him sleep on my lap. he looked so tired. pity him. then the sky went red so i suggest we go home. he kissed me on my forehead & we got home. i didnt want him to go actually. i thought of making him stay till the rain stops. when im on my bed.. he texted me. it rained! & he's stuck at TPE. i dont want him to ride in the rain. oh btw, his ride is 125z. & i think i'll be getting 125z for myself too. i just received a letter from LTA saying that im no longer the registered owner of my KRR! darned it. i miss my bike badly sia! damn itDAMN IT!! i texted Baceyn once i got up from bed. waited for his reply, i knew that he wont reply coz he told me his ppd is low. so i went online. he buzz me on FB. when i saw his name, i got excited. coz i've been busy copy & paste-ing his pictures & sending it to my phone. kekeke. yaaa...i'm happy. maybe just for a while. Love is a like a cycle. what goes around comes around. am i right? i might as well go with the flow. & to my Divas.. thanks for being with me whenever i need you! Cha!! thanks for coming by early in the morning. been a long time! i miss MY Baceyn. i love my fellow friends. but what about Dardar? should i? i dont know! need some help here.any suggestions?

that dayy . .

2009-12-14T16:02:00.002+08:00

went to x' mas party with Holy Trinity. a conference was held at Fort Rd. then went to Sentosa with Hik & Amin, Atik, Dardar & Acun(his lil bro). didnt reali enjoy ourself coz we arrived at Pahlawan Beach at 1800hours.lifeguards told us to get out from the water but we still managed to get back in there! ((: i somehow sensed that Dardar is playing behind my back. i got home & checked his tagged profile. a girl,commented on his profile "baby iLOVEyou" darned it! www.tagged.com/profile.html?uid=5414745385 this is her tagged link. ass! she called me stupid?! look who's talking. when i asked Dardar, he said yar.. she's his GF. wat? gf as in ?? Fuck it all right. im sick n tired of his games. i've been thru it before. let's wait n see for the outcome.

i n s o m n i a ; Mr. A

2009-12-13T03:02:00.002+08:00

i was hungry before i talked to U, but after talking to U... i'm FED UP! yesshh! im so FED UP after talking to Dardar & Hik otp. it's late at 3.04am & Hik is still not home yet. where the hell could she be?? pffft -.- Dardar? urghh! he went out without telling me a thing! i texted him while at work. & he told me he's at home lazing around. when i called him on my cell, he didnt answered it. once i reached home, i dialled his no. & he's OUTSIDE! darned it baby! ass! LIAR! i bet u went out with some bitches. No more Mr. Nice Guy huh? i've told u before dun play with the fire. you're a fireman & u should what's best for u ryt? take cautious for now. Coz i wont be the same girl u noe before. karma will hit u right back baby. i'll be okay. dats u wan me to say right? hell to the yeah baby. no matter what u did to me.. i'll keep on smiling & say "I'm okay,Dardar" but honestly.. ur getting on my nerves. it's zook out night today. u told me ur out at Bugis. how in the world would i believe ur words again? pffft -.- we'll see tmrw. i'm tagging along with Momma to the X'mas partay @ Tamps Church. i dont know if we shud keep to our plans & even to meet u. i admit i do miss u but i hate it that i love u so much! i think its time for to wake up & start thinking! you're not worthy of my trust huns. It's playback time baby. Take it or leave it. I'm doing it my way,yeah Aby's way!! LMAO. big hugs & kisses dardar.

Love Drunk

2009-12-11T01:43:00.002+08:00

i've changed my bloggy layout again. hahaha! kewl right? LoLs. so yarr. had a tiring day today at werk. Atik & Naazira came over to my workplace. They didnt get to blade coz they kinda lost their way to ECP. LMFAO. wad a pity! nehmind. there's always next time. When i've reached home, i called Dardar. We plan to go out this Sunday. Dardar thought of going Wild2 Wet. he ask Atik & Zaza to come along. Gosh! i miss him to the core. so badly. cant wait to meet him! ((: will update more soon! gotta slp early today! have to wake Dardar up for work tomorrow at 0640hours. nite Cyber Diary. XoXo!

2009-12-10T01:56:00.002+08:00

I met Ayie today *partay* miss him alot sia! sex-cited! LMAO. met at Mcdonald's with Atik & Zaza. Zaza bullied him. asked him to carry her all the way home. he did the fireman lift to Zaza & Zaza face went red totally. Had fun laughing my hearts out. Got home, changed. Coz we going out again. Supposed to be Double Date. so called ah. We dont really have any plans yet so we just walked to E-Hub. OTW there, Ayie saw this KR. it was awesome. i adored it too. Ayie looked at it without a blink of the eye & he kissed the pillar with a loud thud! I laughed my heart out 'coz i experienced the same thing too while i walked to work. Cute him. Pity him, he failed his TP. its okay. there's always a next time (: once we're there. Hik insist on catching a movie but We (Ayie & Me) suggested to go bowling instead. Hik disagree! so we went separate ways from there. We went to check out the bowling alleys. It was too pack. We grabbed something to eat then chilled by the sea. We had Subway & Ayie sang to me. Goshh! i really miss him. No words can describe it. HONESTLY! A few hours later, we walked back. I told Ayie, i wanted to get a cotton candy. So i ate it "alone" while walking home. He dont eat the candy coz he said its so sweet for him. I finished it all by myself then ((: Somewhere near my house we saw that typical COUPLE again. Hik & Amin. LMAO. they still wanna chill. US? nawww! enough of chillings. we'll be chilling home. Ayie left at 2230hours coz he dun wanna miss his last train back to Chinese Garden. How i wish if he stayed somewhere nearer. Or maybe i'd still have my bike with me. So he cud stay a lil bit longer & i cud hitch him a ride home instead. hmphh. So when he left, i started to miss already. weird. its a just a minutes that he's gone home. I waited for him to get home & webcam with him. The first time i heard him say i'm sexy. coz usually he'll say something sarcastic like "bini aku mcm gajah" -_____-" LMFAO. so yarr. thats about it. i'll update more soon. . . Fazlee, Nurul rindu KAMU!! XOXO!

Back to square one.

2009-12-07T14:54:00.002+08:00

7th December. It's Epul birthday. I wanted to wish him via sms but on second thought, nawww! so i send him a message on FB instead (: saw his pictures. miss the time i had with him. memories will remain as memories. may all his wish come true & be happy always with his GF (;
oh btw, me & BF are in good terms liaoliao. he called me yesterday & said sorry. both of us are at faults. we dont have time for each other currently. he's shifting to Clementi soon. i hope i can still endure in this r'ship. "Love? It's kind of complicated, but I'll tell you this...the second you're willing to make yourself miserableto make someone else happy, that's love right there." MissDarDar, Ayie.

I dont miss him ; I miss who I thought he was

2009-12-05T01:34:00.000+08:00

You broke me, you broke my heart,
you broke everything!
You turned my world upside down and inside out,
BUT I know it was worth it for
that one moment of love we had,
it's a shame it went bad..

P.S : This post is specially for Ayie.

I took the risk & texted him that night. I followed my instinct! I dont know if im doing the right thing now. I love him & i know he do too, but im not so sure! After work, i told him we've got to go our own ways before he ditch me for some other Bi*ch. Well, what should i say right. He's a west sider & we dont even have time to meet up recently since i just got a part time job. & he's always busy PLUS! he's never been the one looking up for me! PFFT! So ya..we talked that night. tried to work things out but things got worst instead! So yeah! He's been ignoring my messages & my calls now. I dont even F*cking know why. its up to him. He's got what he wanted after all. Karma awaits baybeh.

Wizards of Waverly Place

2009-11-23T22:12:00.003+08:00

Greetings everyone! yaa. soo. im still unemployed! useless bum. INDEED that's me. bike has been repossesed! summons pouring in. geesh. felt like ending all this in a shut of the eyes! Dar helped me financially though. Sweet of him. His TP will be on 25th. Insya'allah.. i know he can do it. Dar wanted to ride his KR back. So we cud be the KR couple! hurhur. i dont know bout mine yet. DAMN it alot. GRR -__-" no use getting mad either. my bad! i chose the wrong path back then. urghhh! All along Hik is working! at LJS. screw it. students like her get jobs easily. & as for me. GAWD! i dont hv N Level Certs & it's so diff to get any job! i've been applying for all kinds of jobs on the net. Even went for all types of interviews. They said they'll call me. But nawwww! ERGH! How i wish i cud turn back time. How i wish i'm a wizard. If anyone of u happen to read this & u noe of any jobs vacancies that suits me. Pls inform me ayes. I'll appreciate it loads, frens. XOXO!

18112009 Dardar Ayie

2009-11-19T05:16:00.004+08:00

Oh Gosh.. This DAY This Date.. means alot to me! I met Ayie<3>D@#$! haha. OH! Forgot to put this in. Ayie came all the way to my block coz it was raining. He didnt want me to walk in the rain & fall sick the next day. Sweet aint he? I went out just as i received his msg. Took the lift with some school girls. They were mumbling something in Malay. They envy my hair. LOL. I curled my hair just before i went out. I dont want to look "masai" for once. When im out of the lift, those girls kept looking & smiling at me. I had to smile back! When i turned my head back, I saw Ayie<3>

Off to WhiteSands,to get somehing to eat. Ayie dont eat vegetables! His favourite dishes are Asam Pedas Ikan Pari, Lemak Cili Padi & Ayam Masak Merah. WOW-ness! I know how to cook these dishes! We then ate at Subway. i did a mistake while ordering Ayie's Sandwich. He dont eat tomatoes! UH-OH! Im sorry sweets! Then off to P.Ris Beach to the Horse Stable. Cute! Ayie promised to bring me there again in the evening. So we can see the horses being free-d.

All the benches are wet. So we just sat on it & wet our panties! Ouhhh. Kinky huh? I Likeeee!~ hahaha! Cuckoo-ism liaoliao. Ayie then send me off until my void deck. Then he walked back to the interchange. He should shift house soon! Get a house somewhere near to me instead of Jurong! hahaha! Just kidding. Oh btw, WE did kissed & hugged. This time round its Hugsssss & Kissesssssss! LMAO. While Ayie was walking to the interchange, i called him up. Company him till he got on the train. We talked 'bout us & we made some confessions towards each other. This time round im not shy....SO........Yeah We're A Thing Now! Like It? YES! I aint kidding yaw! Im attached to Ayie! Hell to the YEAH yaw~ hurhur! From now onwards, i'll be address-ing him as Dardar in my blog. He called me "Aby", i dont know what it means but it did sounds weird ryt? Lmao. So Yar. Atik, dont blame me hor! Your lappy break down just like that. I'll try to get it repaired soon. I'm sorry i wont be active on FB & takecare of our Fishes & Cafes ): I'll be waiting for u to get home Atik! & to Dardar. thanks for coming all the way here. You stayed up just to meet me. Your eyes were SO red just now. I appreciate everything that u did to me today.

P.S : I'll be waiting for ur call tmr. Get more rest. Missing u badly! XoXo!

Fly away!

2009-11-17T18:20:00.003+08:00

I thought i wont shed a tear. But i cried! OMG! I dont knnow why but i'm missing her more! Miss her stupid nonsense! Miss her "mak lapar!". Miss her laughter. Miss her smile. Everything!! Grrrr.! Atik cepat balik k! Jgn luper souvenir jgk tau! weMISSyou!

When's my turn? o.O"

2009-11-16T22:37:00.002+08:00

Atik going to HongKong tmr. I'm happy for her but still jealousy is there! I didnt get to go overseas when i was her age. Not fair !~ HMPHH! Whatever it is, i hope u'll have a safe flight & enjoy your stay there. Don't forget to bring back some souvenirs for US hor!

Will be sending Atik off tmr @ T2 1030hours. Thanks Kak Ya for the Baileys & lending Atik her Huge Red Luggage.

Where are you Ayie? ImissYou.

xoxoxo!

♫♫Meet MR. AYIE,my sarcastic date♫♫

2009-11-15T22:39:00.005+08:00

Met my new date today , Ayie. He's cute! He came all the way from Jurong.How sweet is that! He came by public. He got his license revoked due to speeding. He treat me to MacDonalds. He's a big bully. Reminds me of Abg & Adk.The way he talked is just like Abg. Full of sarcasm. HahaHAhaha! FYI, He's a firemen too! I know. Another buaya darat AGAIN. -___-" ANW GDbye Md. Raez. I dont see a need for u in my life anymore. Am so looking forward to our next meeting. *shrugs* I'm happy that I didnt fall into in Raez's trap either. I should be thanking Raez for his presence in a moment. & Mr. Ayie!! Miss-ing ur hugs & kisses u gave me just now! xoxo!

GDbye Mohd Raez

2009-11-15T18:23:00.004+08:00

He torn me to pieces. I knew this was coming.

I thought i was ready for it but Gawd im not!

I know he can never be mine. I did tried to back off before.

But he told me not to. He said he needed me. I was STOO-PID!

STOO-PID!! Should have trusted my 1st instinct! GRR!

Thanks Dude. I'm happy that it's over now.

Congratulations to u.

P.S : I'm not missing u & I'm not mad at u (:

That Lil Princess

2009-11-15T00:56:00.003+08:00

ohh yar! To Zaza, get well soon Baby.

iLOVEyou. YES! i do! everyone is falling ill real soon.
i can sense that. GEESH! me & my senses! LOL.

♥I'm not ONE of those annoying EMO kids ; I'm one of the COOL ones♥

2009-11-14T17:23:00.010+08:00

whatever i wanna say is written in the pics
enjoy :D

i ♥ that redbull

I'm ♥-ing all these pics.

I've edit & added some quotes to it.

P.S : IMISSYOU

♥Kimmy♥

MahmudRashid 's Tiramisu Delivery

2009-11-10T02:19:00.009+08:00

it's Momma's birthday today. We planned to make a lil suprise for her.

Borrowed some books to learn how to bake a cake.

but i dont think we're capable of baking a cake!

so we planned out something else then.

Atik & Me fetch Zaza from school as usual then headed to ShengSiong.

to get bananas & chocolates. something in the menu,we're making later on.

called Hik to check out on her,when we're there.

she told us that she's having dinner with her GodBrother! Darn it! *roll eyes*

so we asked her to get most of the items instead! LoL.

while we're in the bus heading home, Momma called Atik's phone.

Atik didnt know wad to say to Momma so she passed it to me.

i dont know either! so i just told Momma that we're from the shop.

we got her the eggs that she wanted.

heading home soon after company-ing Zaza to the playground.

Phheeeewww~ lucky Momma didnt ask loads of questions!

once we've reached the front door. Atik took the eggs out from the ShengSiong plastics.

pretend that the plastic torn while on the way back home! Lmao.

plastics torn but the eggs were in still good quality.

Atik stop it with the "tak-perlu" face! You shud have wait till Momma ask u.

not tell her bout the plastic story once u see her..!

lucky Momma didnt suspect anything! -___-"

i hide the other plastics somewhere near the front door.

later on, Zaza wants us to help her with the fire crackers!

so i light the candle & the fire cracker too.

easire for Zaza to light hers later on.

but then Zaza ran inside screaming. idk wat the hell is going on.

so Atik & me played it instead.. -_____-" quite fun though.

we burned "a thing" & it caught on fire!

big fire!! with dark black smoke.

remind us of an incident when Dad was barbecue-ing.

the firemen came up & tried to break into our house!

LOL. false alarm Mr. Firemen!

weird thing is. Momma didnt realise the plastics when she walked to the front door.

could she be pretending not to see it or she really didnt see it? O.o"

a few minutes later,once we're done with the fire crackers, Hik came home.

i helped her with the plastics. while she started out with her "drama" sessions with Momma.

pretended that she had extra lessons at school when the fact is......

she went out to look for Momma's lil surprise thingy. Lmao.

we waited till its 2330hrs then we plan something out.

Momma was too engrossed with her Alamak.com....

so we thought of going online & pretend to MahmudRashid.

we were lucky we cud get online. Stoo-pid of us. we dont even know how to PM her!!

so chatted with her on the main page of Alamak.com instead.

she didnt suspect anything so i let Atik handle it instead.

i went to the kitchen to get the suprise thingy going on.

hell yeah i'm clumsy! lucky Momma didnt step into the kitchen. ROFL.

finally it's 0000hours. we told everyone online that its Momma's bdae.

& everyone began to wish her((:

i woke Hik up from the sofa coz i really need help in the kitchen.

while we were busy in the kitchen, Atik get the table ready & drew Momma a big Bdae poster.

once we're ready.. Atik & me changed our clothes..

we thought Momma will ask us questions.

.....but when i told her, im going out...

she said "OK! buy for me ciggies too!"

i was like "WHAT?!" the plan turn out as we planned! OMG.

we went out of ideas already. so i had to come up with something.

Me : Mak, kiter actually nak turun bawah skejap. Jumpa MahmudRashid.

Mak : Untuk aper?

Me : Alah MahmudRashid. Die deliver tiramisu cake ahh..

then she was like "huh?!" now then she remember...

she chatted with someone named "MahmudRashid" on Alamak.com ((:

then she got up & try to get her way into the kitchen.

Atik blocked Momma with her Big Birthday Poster.

i didnt know wat to do next so i just stood there looking at Momma's reaction.

Then suddenly "POPP!"

Gosh! Hik pop-ped the sparkling juice without asking me.

the juice overflow-ed & Hik just went out like that. LoL.

We then brought the stuffs out.Momma just look at us in awe ^.^

we snap-ed pictures of Momma & the cute mousse cakes.

then we began to share with Momma whatt exactly happened.

we had an AWE-some time telling her.

she blushed away & began hitting anyone who's sitting next to her.

Pity Atik )): she had to endure the slap-ings & pinch-es! hahaha

here's some pictures of Momma's lil suprise Birthday.

We did record a video of us singing happy bday for Momma in Malay

...but craps..! didnt work out. so i dont think am gonna post it here!

enjoy looking at the pictures then! *peace*

iLOVEyou,Momma. noone can ever replace u in my heart♥

Preparations for Momma's Birthday

2009-11-09T02:18:00.003+08:00

Abg Semutz? he's my ex over the past few years.

*wondering* i dont even know why he still wanna contact me.

soooo YAHH. his birthday falls on the 4th November 1987.

he planned to celebrate it with me..but once his pay is out!

i went to the library to return my books & borrowed 6 new books.

2 of them are cook books. we thought of making something for Momma.

it's her birthday this Tuesday ((:

Hik, Atik & me agreed to make a cake. but im worried...

worried that the cake wont turn out as it's supposed to.

no doubts! practise makes purrrr-FECTTT!

hopefully yeahh! but i guess Momma wont mind.

coz we're gonna make her "something" with full of LOVE♥

went to get ice cream from Mcdonald's before we head home.

Abg Semutz texted me. he said that his bike exploded.!

i was shocked! is it true that its normal for Gilera to explode if it overheats??

lucky im not into Gileras! hurhur ^.^

they sucks to the core for now. *FACTS* See Hik? its made of plastic!

at 2359hours Abg Semutz called me & made plans for his belated bday outing.

he said i could bring my family along. he wont mind.

so i thought that would be good!

he planned to go Sakura. & i told him we should go to Marina Barrage after meal.

he's fine with it. but im scared Momma dont wanna tag along. hmmphh..

its okayy.. i can talk to Momma till she change her mind ((:

chatted with Haida 'bout our EX, Dale, earlier on.

she posted a comment on Hannah's picture. * naked cam whore *

hurhur ^.^ we know that room. it's green in color.

" D A L E ' S R O O M B A B Y ! ! ! "

we chatted bout Dale for awile. then i got to know that Danielle did made out with Dale.

Hmmmmmppphhhh! i swear im gonna kill Dale.

but heck it. what's past is past. he's no longer mine. i did told him to stop bothering me.

but i dont think he got my message! -_____-"

all the while he thought im getting married at the end of this year.

stoo-pid of him. i had no choice but lied to him.

i wonder how many girls is stuck in his trap now.

pity those girls. i tried getting Hannah out.

but she's some kind of a "she-thinks-she-knows-everything"

so i gave up & waits for the time she'll realise all this.

this is just a dream for her. Haida, Syazie, Danielle, Me & many others girls went thru it.

we've had enough of his bull-shits.

So, Hannah, stop complaining if Dale is cheating on u. we did warn u,sweets.

& oh! Raez,he spotted the change in me.

i've been hiding things bout me from him..

i just dont think its important to tell him anymore ((:

all i can say is "Im fine (: "

dont worry much bout me. worry bout urself instead.

geesh i do talk alot huh?

ok la im done here!

& to all those Chelsea fans out there.

dont get too happy yaw! *peace*

p.s : i'm sorry Raez ):

ignoring Raez

2009-11-08T16:24:00.004+08:00

its Sunday today. i forced myself to sleep till 1400hrs.

but a text from Gf, woke me up.

asking if i would like to tag along to Fizah's chalet.

i turn her offer down for i don't wanna be lonely there.

she'll be with her boyfriend. & i dont even know most of Fizah's friend there!

i received his msg before Gf's. but i kind of ignored hi texts.

i didn't want to do that though.! but i just gotta bring myself to do it.

am watching tv right now. "don't mess with the Zorhan" LOL.

funny show indeed. i had a fun time laughing by myself.

took my daily advise on Fb. & it says...

"Spend some time alone..."

i guess it's true ; spend my time alone.

**sorry, peace out**

♥♥Kimmy♥♥

uh-oh UH-OH!

2009-11-08T01:19:00.002+08:00

he texted me at 2357hours. asked if he could read my blog.
pffft -___-" of coz i'd say "NO!"
but then i gave in & told him i'd give him the link when he's home later.
yeahYEAH! im too humble. its just a blog. my online diary.
i dont think i shud keep any secrets from him either -____-"
i THINK !! idk.
k laa... im beat. wanna watch tv & read my book.

ATIK! gimme my book back,YOU!
*roll eyes* u borrowed urs from the library,
but u aint reading it. hmph!

♥ Just a crush ♥

2009-11-07T23:36:00.007+08:00

i'm crushing on someone ; refer to my previous post.i don't know if i should be serious with him.

we've had a heart to heart talk before. & we're aware that...

i'm not ready to get to the next step.

im scared to fall in love again.i dont wanna be a broken hearted girl again.

i dont wanna put his name up,'coz im afraid his ex would blog hop.

& end up reading this bloggy of mine ((:well he said he's moving on.

unfortunately, not his ex-girlfriend. (i think)

it's ok if she doesn't. i mean. if she's still trying to get back with him?

why not?! i'll just back off.! ((:

this is just a crush.

i know myself too well (:i dont want to hurt him or worst ME.

i told his best friend before. *secret!* he's good at keeping secrets!

i've been trying my best to avoid him.i dont know if im making the right moves.

as what people keep telling me."Go with the flow"

yupsYUPS im doing just that,people!

& to Baby Ayang & Ain Cute. ((:

i hope everything is going smoothly!just update me if u hv any problems.

i'm always here for u. a phone call away.AS always.! ((:

most of my gfs are having problems with their boyfriend.haha!

Weird. lucky im not into r'ship right now!

yesterday chatted with Abg(Haidil).he asked me if im attached.hell NO im not. LMAO.

& he included that i've lose weight!WEIRD-ness. i doubt so!!

putting on weight YES! losing weight NAW!!but i hope i do lose some weight some day.. ((:

miss going out with Abg & Adk(Hairil). these twins are always up to something.

they never failed to make me smile or LAUGH! hmph!

love-ing & miss-ing them truckloadss♥

miss being Adk's pillion. miss racing with Abg. ((:

met Zul Kecyk just now. got back Atik's PSP & Momma's Hp.

haha! screw him!he lost the memory cards! hmph!

was on the bike with Atik. riding with the slowest speed ever.

there's alot of guys by the railings.we cudn't see him anywhere!

then suddenly a guy turned & looked at us.he looks so familiar! DAMN.

its Zul Kecyk! hahaha!!he's so tanned! & plus HE'S HAWT.

hahaha! Atik, i'd say Zul is HOT-ter than Haili.

i have the FINAL say. no more debates! *roll eyes*

i n s o m n i a

2009-11-07T04:56:00.005+08:00

clock is ticking. now is 0457hours.

& i dont even feel aleepy at all.

darned it! -_____-"

all my friends went offline liaoliao.

so i thought of updating my blog. LMAO.
so just now. Momma asked me.

"where u in the kitchen when i was on the phone?"

i was like "NO!"

all the while i was sitting by the desk, fb-ing.

how could i be in the kitchen.. o.O"

then Momma said she saw someone like me entering the kitchen.

LoL. im not surprised! ^.^

seen her before. That's why i've been having problems sleeping at night!

i MISS alot of people nowadays.

i DONT know why!

my girlfriends.! my bestfriends.!

especially MY DAD.

weird. all of a sudden.

it just strikes me.

so i thought of putting up their pics in here.

so when im bored, i cud just look at their pichas on my blog.

teeheee ^.^

so here it goes.

i miss him♥

2009-11-06T17:17:00.009+08:00

guess what???

i've got a letter from PAT!

no doubts. he's my best-est BESTfriend.

KhairulAmri. akan ku tunggu kepulangan mu!

gwe kangen banget sama kamu sih!

urghh! & ur letter is so the malay!

hurhur ^.^

just his letter.

&& im so happy for TODAY!!

& my bike is pending for re-possesion on 16.11.2009.

summons are due.

courts letter are pouring in like raindrops now.

i dont give a damn liaoliao.

*PEACE*

im BACKK!!

2009-11-06T16:44:00.005+08:00

damn! had a hard time cleaning this blog of mine.
as u can see. its totally changed!
i dont hv that guy's pichas anymore!
^.^ i'm so happy! WEEEEE!!
credits to "ATIK"
sorry to waste ur time. LMAO.

soo... YA!! am just updating 'bout my current status for now.

im single & SO not available..currently dating. ((:

You wont wanna know who he is either.

oh..& im still contacting my previous ex-Boify,Suhaimi..

he helped me alot ((: owe him a big time!

Momma thought of marry-ing me off to him.

I'm still thinking 'bout it.

i don't wanna end up regret-ing..

'coz he failed his first marriage.. the wife stood him up & left him.

*roll eyes* Bitches. can't tell good guys from Bad Guys.

actually, he's a great guy. even though he has a TATTOO.

which i got so "turned off" ..

he did shower me with care & concern all the while i'm with him.

but it's just that.. ERGH! forget it.

i just can't get the words to put it in a sentence!

what im trying to say here is, im confuse.

i dont wanna be heartbreak again.

i dont wanna make another mistake.

i wanna get my Mr. Right & spend my life with him..

"insya'allah" till the end of my life.

i've had enoough of relationshps.

i mean. this boyfriends girlfriends thingy.

its so sucky! im bored of it.

i promised momma that i'll change to be a better person in life.

all i need is guidance from everyone. i mean it, EVERYONE.

i dont care who u are, what u are.

just guide me along. if i've done something wrong, just tell me straight in the face.

i wont mind, honestly.

but if its unreasonable, u'll know it later. ((:

geesh! i think i gotta stop here for now..

will update this blog real soon.

i "promise" !

Halloween With Family on 31.10.2009

2009-11-01T02:13:00.002+08:00

holla yaw! ALAS. have something to update bout today. hahaha! oh ya i guessed most of my loved ones know what happen to me lately right? geesh. yar so. im hoping to change for the better. so please guide me along aytes!
so today i went to Singapore Night Safari with my family. Hik treat us to the tickets. Momma's paying fer the cab fares. Funny how scared Momma was when she saw Mr. Vampire right at the entrance of Night Safari. She ran straight into one of the shops there. hid & waited while we waited for her outside. pity Zaza! scared to death in her stroller. well what can i say? she'll be tired if she were to walk all the way right! i wont be able to carry her. Atik? i doubt so! haha. wanna know why? stay tuned.
we joined the queue, which was so damn long! got furious with peeps in the queue. all those Kang-Cheong Chinese! always cutting queues! darned it. we didnt get the tix for Tram Rides. so we walked all the way. ^.^ we entered this path. it says something like "No Return Path". haha! screw it. im not even scared. it was like a jungle path. dark n eerie. haha! pity Atik. OH-YA! my permed hair got wet & lose its perm-ness! no more pretty girl. haha. i know i know. im not pretty. ((:
we walked & walked & walked. i was the photographer by then. all of a sudden, a figure came out of nowhere & scared the hell outta us!

Momma : Dah cukup-cukup! takmmo takot kan aku. aku nk terkencing nie!

LMAO. u shud see the expressions on Momma's face. Damn funny i tell u! Atik was screaming her lungs out ; she looked pale too! oh! do watch out for us on TV. hahaha! i think so. there was cameras all over. recording our screams. but the funny thing is. its not even scary for me! -___-" after a long walk. we settle down for some Hotdogs & drinks. damn pricey. 4 meals = $55 ++
after a LONG,long rest. we tried to find our way out. which brought us to a dark place n eventually we lost our way. thanks to the tourist guides! KIM & HIK. hahaha!
we finally got the way out. but we have to overcome the ghosts again. which Atik wont be able to take it. Momma was too tired. & keeps quiet all the way.
we hanged around the main entrance & took pictures with the Ghosts again. damn Mr. Vampire. scared a girl till she had a great fall. her foot was stucked in between two rocks. i had a great time laughing at her. Momma laughed too but kept quiet when Mr. Vampire stared straight at her. LMAO.
Momma & me went for a smoke while waiting for our cab. 3mins later, Mr. Taxi Driver called us. Jyeah! we did took our own sweet time smoking there. hahaha! head back home straight. Momma was exhausted after a long walk. ME? im getting sicker now. )):

Bikers' Aid 2009 with Racing Poker

2009-09-10T06:35:00.002+08:00

tag along to TAA escort..(i think so -____-")

with the Racing Poker guys.miss those guys sia!

& god. i cant stand the rumours.
someone saw a "yanyan" sticker

on my helmet & claimed that

i'm attach.

& assumed that my bf is one of the Pokers.

ain't that's lame?urggh! well guys guys!

"Yanyan" sticker is just a sticker.

he used to be a friend of mine during Secondary School days.

we've passed our bike license.
so i don't see any wrongs by putting our names on each other helmets' right?

doesn't mean that he's gotta be my bf then i could put his name on it ryt?

darned! guys. they're just full of it.just can't get the facts right.

& keeps on assuming things.won't even let a lady correct them.

let's just forget about it.& so ya.. on the 06.09.09 Sunday.

the Bikers' Aid.i was with the Racing Poker Team.

we took pictures with Team Exile.

didnt realise that one of them is my friend.hahaha! funny right.

too busy taking pictures, can't even recognise my own friend.

so..ya! saw Epul there.EPUL & the gang were there too.

i knew it. i knew he'll be there. -.-

sorry EPUL! had to mention ur name here.

& yes EPUL. that guy who rode my bike isn't my bf.

who he is to me is none of u guys' business aytes.

yeahh.. Devotious Diva.. i miss them.but as i can see.

up till today.. i can spot changes in every single one of u. oh well not really all of u.

hahaha! trying to be pathetic here.

Shasha Ice has been behaving strangethese few days.

making plans with Rose w/o telling any of us(Divas)

which got Rose n Baby into conflicts once again.

DONT YOU GUYS KNOW HOW I F*CKING HATE THAT?!

why cant there be peace between Divas & Nalors for once?

i'd be glad if Shasha Ice could read my blog though.

sorry i couldn't spend time with u Divas anymore.

im too busy with work & family.

but Ice is too much for now.

i've talked to Zilla via MSN last nyt.

& she told me that Ice was too rude to her on MSN.

ONE fine day..i'll need to meet u Divas.

something urgent 'bout Divas, Me & Racing Poker.

i think u got some clue here right?

i see no point if we Divas keep up this way.

we wont get anything.

it's pointless with all the conflicts & backstabbings.

ok here's something i wanna share with u taggers.

some pictures n videos of Racing Poker at Bikers' Aid

i edit it with some song. credits goes to Atik for helping me out.

SO ya..ENJOY!

2009-08-25T23:04:00.001+08:00

"I throw all of your stuff away

then I clear you out of my head

I tear you out of my heart

and ignore all your messages

I tell everyone we are through

cause I'm so much better without you

but its just another pretty--lie

cause I break down

everytime you come around"

im just loving that song by Demi Lovato.

hmm.. my ankle is swollen btw.

accidentally knocked on my pillion's footrest.

Stoo-pid i know.. pffft -_-"

August 23rd 2009

2009-08-23T17:00:00.001+08:00

sorry peeps. been busy lately with work.
hardly have time to upload my blog.
anyways,thanks fer passing by my blog yeah..
will try to update more..

so..it's the 2nd day of fasting month alr.
everytime when we're breaking fast,
me & momma will be staring at our main door.

hoping for Dad to appear.
he'll always be rushing home to break his fast.
i REALLY3x miss him like mad.

& im back to my previous office.
Tamps Post Office. i just loved it there.
people are fun. they treat me like their own daughters.
gosh. but working hours is too short

& my pay is not wat i expected.
Momma is not werking. & im the only one werking now.
"stress banget sih!" but its okeh. i can still endure. (:

anything just for my family.

hmm.. now bout my bike issues.

my road tax expiring nxt mnth.
i dont know if i shud continue keeping my bike still.
or shud i just give it back to the shop?
i dont know.if only Dad is still around.
he could share his opinion with me. i know nothing bout bikes!
i dont even own a boyfriend or even guyfrens who i'm close to.
*sigh*
just my life. maybe im too stuck up?
that's why noone wants me as his girlfriend..

ok..hmm.. there was once a time..
okehss i dont think there's a need to include that in here.
he'll be mad if he were to read my blog.
& found out his name is mentioned here.
*peace*
i miss him. u knw who.
that guy on my profile.
*rolleyes*
if u dont,ask me then.

ohh! i've recorded a video by me.
just wanna try out Rihanna's song-Emergency Room
watch it & judge it.
u may love it,hate it or whatever aytes.

21.07.09

2009-07-22T16:44:00.001+08:00

this date means alot to me. hurhur!
hmm.. momma got retrench from work. im still work-less.. useleessss!
fetch mom from work. momma told me to bring her slippers along,
coz we going to dad's grave.. on the way to mom's workplace.
the weather was blazing hot. i cudnt see the traffic that clear.
i dun noe if i shud say this ah. before i reach this junction..
i saw something sparkling.. like something flying n sparkling.
once i've reached that junction, i saw this pest buster's van.
i saw this dark-tanned guy. i seemed to know him somehow.
he was smiling ear to ear at me. & showing me the peace sign.
took me quite a time to think back. he was my first love! my old flame!
Nasiruddin Bin Noorhadin.!! ^.^
gosh! he still have those sweet smile on him. i wonder how he have been all this while.
he shud have been proud to see me riding now.

haha! coz i ever told him that im afraid to ride bikes!
so Didi if u happen to blog hop & read this post..
remember this.. i've never have forgotten bout u.
u'll always be the sweetest guys i've ever had! may u last long with ur gf,Ira.
(im not really sure whether they're still together or not! haha)

so i've uploaded some pics of him.

u may know him.u may not!hehe!

this is him 4 years back(if im not wrong)

ohh yaa.. after that..me n momma went to Dad's grave. momma cried. while i kept on reciting the yassin! hurhur. i dont wanna cry too! i need to be strong! right peeps?! imma prove to everyone i'll be strong! i'll take care of my family in up or down. just like my daddy. i aint giving a damn to guys anymore! haha! learn it love me hate me? i dont care!! k laa peace out!!

p.s ; can someone get me Shine Salvatore Ferragamore perfume. haha! ^.^

Thanks Cha :D

2009-07-05T17:39:00.001+08:00

Saw that small girl hiding behind my back ? HAHA! Well, thanks to her I like my hair so so so so much! Weeeeeee. Thanks girlfriend, i love you beb :D

M I N G arcade

2009-07-01T20:39:00.001+08:00

Hasanah Kechique planned to go karaoke @ ming arcade.
to celebrate my birthday. .
i was excited upon hearing it.
..but worried at the same tym.
i didnt know how to get there!! haha.
i thought if i brought my fren along.
maybe i'll be safe..!
but he(hafiq) dont know either!!

i spent about one & a half hour searching..
i took the exit by Havelock Road.
as what was told by "epul". . . . . o.O"
i got lost && end up i found myself at Tanjong Pagar's partyworld.
the usual place i would go karaoke with him & friends.
stop at the side road. & cried..to myself. . .
1st thing 'coz i had a flashback 'bout my memories with him..
2nd thing 'coz IM LOST. && i had noone to turn to!
i had to be independent. . . i turned & turned & turned..
&& bikey brought me to YMCA.
a place when me & epul once had our first night riding.. *sigh*
the whole day bring me down with happy & sad memories of us..
gosh~ -_-"

we then got to find our way to Ming Arcade.
parked mY bike at the normal spot where i used to park mine & epul.
walked our way to Ming Arcade. @ 9.45pm
haha.. funny. stoo-pid. i know.
it's time for me to fix a "GPS" thingy on bikey.

we went in & the staff told us that there's slot only at 10.30pm.
sooo...ouhkayss.. we went out & waited.
goshh time pass on & i spent all my energy talking & talking craps with kechique.
whuahahakaka! oh ya.
she bought me bdae gift from the Body Shop.
cool shit. i thought of getting it for myself.
then she got it for me as a gift.
sungguh un-sangka-able..

@10.30pm
we spent 3 hours singing & yelling our hearts out.
haha. serious shit xia. i think i could lose my voice there.
oh ya~! i sang a song that Epul like alot.
he always wanted me to sing with "gelombang"
so i tried. . . i think i got a bit of it.. hahaha.

Recording 20 -

2009-07-01T15:52:00.001+08:00

Birthday card =D

Scripts by Atik

Written by Hik

Approved by Mummy

"Assalammualaikum Kim, Kite di sini nak ucapkan lah kau hari jadi ah. Yerlah, kate dah dua puluh per. Dah tua. Ape? Dah takde hidup remaja ehk ? Ala kesian. Oke, sekarang kau dah tua. Kau jage diri kau tu baik-baik. Carik jantan yg berguna dan "move on!" Aku tahu ah ni message mcm siaaaakk siket, tapi kau peh corner lagi siaaaakk yer! Ade best girlfriend Cha, tak mo lupe family kau. Yerlah kau selalu sibok dengan Diva kau lah, Adek lah. *cough cough* Actually kite sumer selalu pat sebelah kau. Cumer kau je yg tak perasan. So beb, dah 20 enjoy! "

Birthday gift from Hasanah Kechique

Chocolate Truffle ;D

Alright, my birthday is over. And i'm so glad, because at least those bashing will be like totally over. So now, i can heaved a sigh of relief bebeh. And yes, talking about bashing. I can still remember vividly about the incident at the corridoor. Ohwell, I got bathed with cold plainwater. My gossssh, it's like late night, around 1am. And i just got home from somewhere where i was actually forced to eat ONIONS! Can you imagine how "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!" it is? Like wthfcck, onions? NOWAY! But yes, i did eat it. It was like fcking YUCKS! Yes, with the capital Y-U-C-K-S-! Uh-huh, after that came another bashing. Pooor me, i was freeeezing cold. Lol, two pathetic sisters don't know how to actually do a surprise bash! HAHA! They came up right infront of my face with a glass and a big bottle on their hands. Shouting, "ah! Kimmy!" So, not a surprise to me but to them. Hurhur! Unfortunately, I did not have the time to run away! Duhh, with helmet on my hand, and bag and keys and other stuff. Especially with Hik running like "wthfck" towards me after Atik shouted my name. It happened so fast, I couldn't escaped but only to save my precious helmet from getting wet. Oh i did threw my keys aside with the lanyard. After Hik poured the fcuking cold water on me, i thought it was over. But then came Atik with another bottle. "GAAAAAAH!" It's fcuking cold, and I was fcuking wet. Mad?Not satisfy? I managed to hug Hik! Muahahaa, so she was wet too. Yipppeee. Yeah, so whtever-bla-bla. We settled down at home. I read the birthday card out loud, damn. Handwritting was so bloody damn small. And those words were like wthfck? then came my Birthday cake, wishes with all those candles. Pooof, i'm already twenty. Haaaiya, so old alr. So yeah, that's all about it.

Once again, thank you all for everything, xoxo Kimmy ;D

28th June 2008

2009-06-29T02:18:00.001+08:00

finally the day i waited so long. has come today! actually i planned to celebrate it with someone i love.
but i guess it's not important anymore.
im not needed anymore.
well at least he took the initiative to wish me.
pictures above are taken from my phone.

come let me do some talking here.

okahh..

actually i overslept && hp was switched off due to batt flat.

haha! zilla had a hard time ringing me up xia!

hurhur! konon la burfday beh ke-prangai-an xia! lolx.

not reali la act. i slept at 8am xia.

i cudnt sleep coz i kept thinking bout that someone.

kept wondering if he wud forget bout my birthday ornot.

coz i waited for him to text me yest.

till i cried xia! haishhh.. i just dont understand myself.

i dont understand why i still cant move on with peace.

i still have him in my mind. everywhere.everytime.

i guess im too stuck up lurhs! thats the werd for me.

so....while i was getting ready to go out....

".....i want nobody,nobody but you!.."

i was like "GOSH! sape xia?!"

when i took a look at it...

i was shocked to hell xia.

i've received a message from starhub.

"EPUL!!!!!"

he still remember my burfdae.

then tears rolled down my cheeks slowly.

how wonderful if i cud meet him.

i really miss him alot xia.

i just kept it to myself. coz i know it'll take a miracle for it to turn out to be true.

i kept wondering why he still wish me on my bdae.

i kept wondering whether does he still loves me or not.

i just kept my feelings inside.

when i've reached Tamps.

i put on a fake smile when actually i was crying during my journey xia!

took a cab to Spore Zoological Garden.

ohh! Ain's boify tag along.

Zilla paid for the cab fare.. ((: sorry beb. i dont hv enough cash.

upon reaching,we had to wait for Baby & Nana.

when they've reached! we still have to wait for someone!

&& that guest is Shasha ICE bebeh! ((:

Burfdae gurl mengamok xia! hurhur. not really la..

i just dont want to miss out the interesting shows they have later.

then after that like biase la.. jln2 till we shag !

anw,i got a boyfren @ ZOO !

his name is CARLOS the sealion. hahahaha! he's so DAMN cute.

err.. wadd else huh?..

i think i'll end here for today..

more to come soon ya!

TO atik && hik!

korang tau la ape korg da uat la kan..

i was sabo with COLD COLD COLD water from the fridge at the corridor!!! ^_^

gerek kan di-dgr? try uh. gerek abes! bleh terkencing2 ah!

&& momma! i love you la! thanks to my beloved family,

for the present ; watch ! && the chocolatey truffle cake!

love it loads. nvr had a birthday this gd. infact. last year's sucks!

well i miss DADDY. if only ayah was here. i'll bring him out.

rest in peace ayah. iloveyou always.

forgive me for my sins to you.

i've made a wish.

&& i hope i'll change.

for good. not for ME but for goodness sake.

for my beloved peeps around me especially my family.

takecare everyone. ily always.

oh Pat Poker & gang. thanks fer wishing me @ midnight.

enjoyed my 1st hour of the bdae with Pat & Nas. ((:

after the ZOO outing met Pat & the gang again.

this time with Zilla.

we sat in a van. a coolCOOL covered van.

we're not aware where we're going either.

when we've reached, we looked lost!

i duun even noe where it is! LOL. thanks u guys! xoxo!

Yeah bebeh, My Gf is Back!

2009-06-26T23:16:00.000+08:00

My Girlfriend is baaaack from KL yaww! I miss her truckloads :D

And I know she miss me too, right girlfie? Aww.

guess what? She did brought me this Shirt from Lacoste. Altho' it's pink, i still appreciate it. Love it, thank you very much darla (: Not only that, she bought for Wan a polo shirt, adidas shoe & emporio armani diamonds perfume. which die tak muat the shirt lah kan. Takpe, buat kenangan. And yes, for the TWINS! They got sepasang baju adidas. Seeee how kind-hearted my lovely Girlf is? Aww. And yes, I met abang's girlfriend, Shikin, wooooooo sheeesh bam! Pecah siooool mukanya. Wooops xD Alright, abang ajak go Seoul Garden on Saturday, which is tomorrow! I don't know if I should go or not, well, I don't feel like going either. Cha and wan updated, they looked as if they didn't meet up for so many years. Aww, cute couple indeeeed! Adek broke off with Emma, for i-don't-know what reason. Pffft, pity him. D:

Yes, that's all about it. I know I don't sound like me. Haha!
To Atik: You know I know, public don't know. Keke.
Currently webcam-ing with Kecyk. Woaaaaahliaao. I think i miss him.
Chalobeteh *wink

Hello earthlings, ini Atik.

2009-06-23T23:08:00.000+08:00

Eh Hello semuaaa! What's up? This is so not Kimmy.
Obviously! Ini Atik updating yaw, adek kepade Kimmy(:
Sorry ah, kalau menyebok gitu. Haha, im here for a reason.

Hi kim. You're reading this, now!
Told you earlier on the phone that I wanted to post about just now.
Well, not really what I am going to do.
Im hereeeeee, untuk wish this
naughtysexxxxayelovelypretty-ohsohot SISTER of mine
Happy birthday in advance.
Ehh, guess what? Now im listening to radio 91.3FM
and it's a happy birthday song, wahhh mcm faham ;D
So yeah, Kimmy be happy and strong okay girl!
Weeee, Atik and the rest of your loved ones will always be there for you.
K. Let me tell you an interesting story about today,
since Kimmy won't be updating. COMFIRM punye.

Today, I karaoke with her. Very fun tau.
Aiyo, suarenye very power. Sampai telupe nak nyanyi my part.
And yes, she did taught me some of the skills.
Okay, then about 10 going to11pm, she called me.
Saying she's bored waiting for mum at her workplace.
Biase jugak, org dah ade motor, kene fetch her mummy!
And then, was told to online her msn.
Chatted with a few of her friends. Then, i asked her permission to update this!
heheee, me goodgirl. Tak sneak-sneak, but ask permission.
Hm. maybe going wash her handsome babykawa. think so.
ohyeah bebeh, dah lamer tak tumpang kimmy.
I miss her siakk turn. k whatever it is.
klah, she's home already. huhu.

xoxo,Atik!
I don't bite, i do tickling ^^,

i'm MissinG him. maybe im too stuck up..?

2009-06-23T03:09:00.000+08:00

"here's something to share with u all..
something that means alot to me.."

i want to hold ur hands
& walk a mile
dont want to miss u
even a while.

my life was so beautiful
coz DEAR,
its YOU,
my life..

hug me for my worries
to die
my tears to dry
& my loneliness to fly

it hurts me to know
how i sometimes can be
little selfish
when it comes to u

i am getting sentimental over you!
for god sake explain me why all these

i miss u every moment of the day
i keep me awake just to listen to u
i keep me empty just for u to fill
i keep me alive just to see u

my mornings miss u
my evenings seeks u
where were u all these while
why were u there to wipe my tears

fear of future is worst
than pain of the past
still i bother the least
coz u are there

even seconds are too long to miss u
i want to hold your hands again
& walk a mile
dont want to miss u even a while

i'm still trying to move on..
..but i cant!..
i miss him alot..
i simply love him alot.
i just dont understand why!

You Keep Your Wishes. I Keep My Feelings

2009-06-19T19:14:00.001+08:00

i logged on to friendster a few days ago & saw that

he has deleted me off from his friends list!

ok. i dont mind.. i added him back.

when i checked my tagged account today..

i found out he has deleted me, Atik & Hik's profile off.

his profile was set to private.

Kak Zimah snatched him as her pet now..

okehss i dont CARE!!

he && his words..

'i love you', 'dont leave me'

Fucking Bullshit.

he has hurt me too much..

i wont ever believe in guy's sweet talk anymore.

he had this wish.. contacting with his ex again.

i said u may go ahead & contact her..

i'll forever love u && wait for ya..

till now, he avoids me..

im getting sick && tired..

y must he run away from the facts??

burst it ah! i wont be stoo-pid as to run,beg or even f*cking cry for ya..

for all u know.. im not the same as ur exx. im not the sweet talker!

i am who i am & what i am... && i do love who & wat i am..

to the people who are not aware of who i am referring to...

i'm actually referring to Epool..

&& i assume he did came by to my blog..

Cha..i wont be deleting his pichas off from my blog...

i'm happy with it..

saying im attached but the fact that i'm not! haha..

i need to thanks Aza(Kak Shima's BF) for helping us with the cb400 bike..

we are really in need of cash..

pffft! don't ask why..

we've always been in this kind of situation.

oh ya.. talked with mum that day..

mum : tengok la ape kau dah buat. percaya sngt dgn jantan2. skrg jantan tu tgl kn kau bulat2.

me : cinta tu buta,ma.. bila tgh bercinta mmg gitu la.. tpi skrg Tuhan da bukakan mata Kim "besar2"..

mum : alhamdulilahh..!! nie la anak makk!

me : well... syukur alhamdulilahh..

well what i can say now is ;

i'm much closer to Allah..

i'm leaving everything to Him.

even if he has to take my life,but let me complete my responsiblities as a

faithful Daughter & responsible Sister..

i believe i can..

no more boyfriends for me..

enough is enough..

what a day!

2009-06-17T02:22:00.000+08:00

okeh here goes.. went to Sin Ming.
with Mama at 2pm.
then send her to work.
fetch Zilla from Bedok.
went to Lot 1.
was supposed to meet Baby there.
but i was late. damn.
i felt sorry for Baby xia.
she was down with high fever.

p.s BABY IF YOU'RE READING THIS..
i really wanna say sorry for today..

then i went to Mustapha Centre to get my hair dye.
actually was supposed to meet Cha,Wan & Hairil after 5pm.
but we got lost somewhere at Kallang way. haha..
so i had to lie to Hairil.
when i've reached Tamps, Cha & Wan were warning me.
i knew it. confirm Hairil is mad.
haha. serious shit sia! member muker mcm taik!
ofcoz la. he waited from 2pm. i promised after 5pm.
but then when i reached was about 7.45pm..

p.s im SORRY Wan,Cha && Hairil.

anw,ever since epool..k forget about it..
been a long time since i become a pillion on rxz.
cool kepe!! haha.
so after meeting them,we went to Cha's house.
ohh before that. Abg joined us too!
took some gravy from Cha's house.
then went to my house to eat.
pity them xia.. they must have been really hungry.
after that we had to sent Cha back to her Bro's house.
Wan insist on riding baby kawa with Cha.
so no choice!! rxz lor! hahaha.

Hairil changed lor. he wasnt mad at me after,
he found out that i lied about Super4.
& oh ya.. epool was the one who stick my P-Plate hor.
Hairil's itchy hands!! he tear my p-plate && now it's fucking small xia!
i wonder if i can get away from the TP or not..
&& btw people.. Hairil is NOT my boyfriend!
he's Cha's Bf's Brother. that makes him a friend of mine ahh.
he's attached hor.. pffftt!
so to those who are reading.. it's none in the list aytes..
im still struggling to pull thru this SHIT !!
&& ohh!!

could someone get me mangoes? Please?

2009-06-15T05:35:00.001+08:00

ARGHHHHHH!! *lets off stress mode*
heck care to this la.
he's moved on.
why the heck am i still waiting for him?
he mayy be ouut enjoying himself with some other bit** out there.
i'm moving on.
with Cha && Wan guidance...
insya'allah...

finally,i'm updating my blog huh?
mesti surprise kan? hahaha.
met up all of my ex-boyfriends..
ask for their opinions..
well all they could say to me is ,
"stoo-pid! u shudn't cry or even beg him to stay!"
i know. i was too into him.
i cant bear to part with him.
or even see him in some other bit**'s arm.
he told all his friend alr. now its my turn..
PEOPLE!! i've move on ALAS!!
enough of sufferings. end up i didnt get anything.

hmm.. it'll be over real soon.
i hope he's happy that it's over.
i know he's wanting this!
baby,u've got it. enjoy.
i've freed u. ur free to do whatever u want.
i just cant take this anyymore.
it's hurting me too much.
i had to stop this now.
im sick && tired of faking my smiles.
& pretend that im fine.
in fact! im not. i've never been!!

ku sedar kebesaran mu Tuhan

2009-05-28T06:33:00.001+08:00

everyone make mistakes.

i've made a promise to the sand or lets put it "Earth".

&& if i failed,i'll go back to where i came from.

my first time being in a fire engine!

with Cha some more!

wuhoooo!

prangai "ke-kanak-kanak-an" sia kim..

that ulat bulu is so cute & adorable!

geram jek!

mcm nk gigit jek... hahaha!

hurhur!

Cha mmg faberit amek gmbr gini kan?

suker?? seronok?? (:

first & foremost, i'd like to say,

thanks Cha! for being there for me.

amek gmbr byk2 lagik k!

ingat Cha!

don't forget our little secret..

kuruskan badan & focus more on our self first.

hehe! kiter selalu kecian kan org.

tpi tk pernah org kecian kan kiter. kan? kan??

haishh. nie jek la yg aku leh update.

"hanya utk-mu CHA!"

PFFFFT !

i sang a song even when im still sick.

i just find the lyrics meaningful !

something to do about my current r'ship.

i'll be dedicating this song to,

Muhammad Shaiful Bin Mohd Bajuri.

enjoy yaw peeps.

pervert @ 5am..

2009-05-23T23:25:00.000+08:00

ok. here it goes..
this happened this morning @ 5am.
i went out at 2am. met my gf,Hidayah.
an ex-colleague from BoostJuice.

i reach my carpark @ 5am.
i saw a suspicious boy riding an orange bicycle && looking at me.
i feel kinda weird.
after parking my bike,he hid behind a pillar.
i pretend to get into the lift & saw him getting near me.
i was very curious to find out what he's doing.
when he came near,i saw his hands on his penis.
masturbating himself in a fast manner!!
his shorts was halfway down.
i was shocked && scared at the same time.
like duhh! he might be a psycho & wanna rape me..
so i reach for my cell phone in my bag.
took quite a long tym to reach for it though!
then i realised something.
even if i did have my cell phone now,i wont be able to make any calls!
im out of cash at the mean time & cudnt top up my prepaid card.
so i just ran up to my house.

once i got in the house.
i told mum everything.
mum was too engroosed with her Alamak.com
i had to tell her no matter what!
who knows something bad would happen to other girls walking there.
i yelled at mum.
i guess mum just cudnt hear me,bcoz of my pathetic rockers' voice.urghhh!!

when i told her,i saw a kid.
she was like, "toyol ke? toyol ehk?"
when i retold her everything,she still kept quiet & stared at the lappy.
i was so mad!
i insist her to call the police if not i'll switch off the main switch!
haha. evil me,but at times! this is an emergency!~

it took the police quite a time to return our call back.
when we received his call back,we were told to come down.
to identify the suspect.
they told me,he's 14-16years old.
he's a good runner,that's why it took them quite a long time to call us.
hahaha! damn police. they told us that all the PASIR RIS NPC are busy.
these police were from Tampines.
had to make a report n etc.
waliaow.. lembab like hell !

when i got home. i had to cook curry.
mum is too busy with her chatroom.
called Darla,to wake him up.
when everything is settled then i go to bed.
goshh! im so missing Darla.

my precious voice. . . . . .

2009-05-23T01:36:00.001+08:00

oh goshh.. when i got home yesterday,
i realise something missing..
"M Y V O I C E" !!!
pffffttt! its killing me. serious shit.
aint no laughing matter here.
im being serious..but its okayy.
i can endure with it.. as "pain is a Pleasure,bebeh!"

so i was online @ msn,chat-ing with Sue & Baby.
Darla rang me up. told me that he'll be coming here.
i was like. okeh. What's up?
why the sudden? here? like? then...
i sat down & watched videos on Youtube!
all those reggaeton Videos.
GOSHH! i've always wanted a body like those Latina babes.
Hot,tight && sexy figure..
when Darla came,i prepared him the spaghetti bolognaise i've made.
but then i had to go to the shop to get more spaghettis.
upon reaching home, i stood still at the top of the stairs..
**WWWUUEEEEKKKKKKKSS!!!**
i vomitted again. it's just the aneroxia effects..
haha. nothing much. i'm use to it..

after Darla left..
i went out to CGH for awhile to "pick" Hik up. lolx
She's late!! damn. i hate waiting. (padehal 5mins jek)
when ive reached home,i got so mad.
coz the whole house is full of people shouting & crying!
i got mad at myself & ring Darla up since he didnt text me at all.
so he has reach home from just now.
hang up the phone & went online.
chatted with a few of my friends & Darla.
had a lil fight there.
mum asked me to help her out.
tidy the master bedroom.
when i got out,she was there at my place playing my lappy!
happily chat-ing away at ALAMAK.COM
i felt like yelling at her.
.....but i kept it to myself.. i dont wanna be rude to my mum.
I LOVE HER hor.!
i still remember wat Darla told me..

so... i went out. asked Atik if she wanna tag along.
brought a pail,sponge & my wallet.
went to the opposite block & wash my bike.
oh ya! bought a dish wash soap coz i aint got any at home!
hahaha. i learnt it from Darla..
goshh.. i've cooled down after washing the bike..
feeling BETTER after looking at bike,doone with washing..
"so handsomeee!!"
let Atik have a ride on my bike.
she love riding bikes.. but after trying it by herself..
she kept commenting on how heavy it was!
*p.s. Atik,it's not even heavy compared to Daddy's bike! *

got home. Mum is still online.
so we sat aside lor..
switch on the other lappy n chatted..
goshh im missing my Divas,esp those i havent meet!
Nyna Loves & Ain Cute.

♥ && i hate pine-apple bebeh!

im confused. rosza or rozza??

2009-05-22T05:58:00.001+08:00

that's Rosza.
i got it from a girlFriend of mine.
im not sure,but i just wanna know whether,
this Rosza is the same girl,
which happened to be my Darla's ex-girlfriend.
im still on the look out for her actually.
nuthing much actually.
but it hurts me to know that she,
actually is still texting my Darla.

So Darla,if u're reading my post now,
like right now,
tell me asap aytes.
whether she's that girl or not.
don't worry. i wont play jealous here.
no grudges either.
just the truth aytes.
ouh. && her daughter name is Nadirah.
I just need the answer.
yes/no
as simple as that.

anorexic. diet pills. vomit-ing.

2009-05-21T14:08:00.000+08:00

do u know a celebrity named "Nicole Richie" ?
she went on this torture dieting, called Anorexic.
&& she got herself the beautiful body.
i've always wanted that too.
& since Darla wants me to slim down. i guess it'll be better,aint it?
that pic on top is an eg. of anorexic.
kewl huh?
maybe my coughing and the bloody clot thingy,
is due to this stoo-pid diet of mine..
....but i don't give a damn.
i wanna be the hot babe,
the fantasy woman for my guy.
i mean like "HEYY!"
of coz u want ur GF to look hotter than the other ladies out here ryt?
gosh. im just getting from bad to worse.

what's going on now?

2009-05-21T13:56:00.000+08:00

okay. so here it goes. yesterday was very shocking fer me.

i felt like coughing, so i coughed!
but then there's blood. it's some kind of a blood clot.
scare the shit outta me. i just kept quiet!
but then i had to tell somebody.
i told Atik.. ! Atik who was eating gave me the "URGHH!!" look.
she was about to vomit upon looking at it.
i swear it was yucky yuckss!
i don't know what's gonna happen to me tho.
mum have always been talking about DEATH.

Mum : kalau ape-ape terjadi pade mak,korg pandai-pandai jage diri sendiri.

i don't know! i swear i don't know.
but i do have the feeling that i'll be leaving her before she does.
sorry peeps but i'm just letting out what i'm feeling over here.
&& darla, i don't mean to say ''i'd love to die"
i'm just sharing my feelings with peeps in here.
maybe it's true, maybe it's not.
" God's Willing "

2009-05-20T16:46:00.002+08:00

PSSTT!!..
Do you know that i Love you?
i probably already told you,but i'm going to keep saying it.
there is no lies in there words,
not one bit.
your smile keeps me alive.
is one more reason to keep fighting. i would give you my soul for comfort,
even if it leaves me dark & cold. && when i hold you close,i can feel your heart beat fast, & i think to myself i've found that "someone" at last.
I'm scared because....
I dont want anyone else to
have your heart.
I don't want anyone else to
kiss your lips.
I don't want anyone else to
be in your arms.
I don't want anyone else to
be the one you love.
I'm scared because.....
I don't want anyone else to
TAKE MY PLACE!
I keep thinking of how much i LOVE talking to you..
How good you look when you smile..
How much i LOVE your laugh..
I daydream about you on & off,
replaying pieces of our recordings,that we sang,
laughing at funny things,
that you said or did,
I've memorized your face
& the way that you look at me..
I catch myself smiling again
at what i imagine...
I wonder what will happen the next time
we are together, & even
though neither of us know what the future holds,
i know one thing for sure :
You're the best thing that ever happened to me

&& I LOVE YOU.

3:51 am

2009-05-20T03:51:00.001+08:00

finally,everything's over.
gosh!!
i guess in r'ship.
we just have to give in.
it's so damn difficult if either of us refuse to give in.
haha. i was merely gg to give up!
i did cried. alot!!
till i wanted to chat to Sue,
every words didnt came out as it's supposed to!
my whole body was shivering like hell.
felt like murder-ing someone tonight!!
hahahahaha.
lucky me. i finally cooled down.
& started to talk things out with Boify.
guess i should plan an outing for
my family & boify's family.
maybe picnic or something?
hmm.. since Boify hardly have time for his family..
i guess he should by now..

soo...actually i did copy & pasted watever me & boify
was say-ing on msn.
he saw it & told me not to post anything
'bout our personal lifes on my blog.
i understand that. i know how he feels.
i guess i wont be touching up alot about me & him
when we're having our small fights or WATEVER! lolx! =P
im sorry for everything ya.
i did hurt u. i'll try to change. & im not that mean okehs!
this is just me.
hmmm.. if u happen to read this too.
dont get mad yaw!
im just too happy that we're okay after the damn convo.

"alhamdulilah.....!"

♥im running insane in love.♥
Kimmy ♥ Epul

PAIN is a pleasure?

2009-05-18T19:02:00.001+08:00

I HATE ME.
I hate all this.
I'm not purrr-fectt FOR him?!
"gals nid attention frm guys..so do guys..dun make urself lose to gals..we have feelings too"
WHAT DOES HE MEAN???
IM NOT THE ATTENTION SEEKER AYTES!
i can be independent on my own.
i'll prove it to u.
& i mean it.

learn it,love it,live it !

kimmy the means it!

don't ever work for HMS host

2009-05-17T03:19:00.000+08:00

hey peeps.

im updating my blog when im at werk!

hahas. it sucks at work so i find my way out to the internet section.

btw,i'll be changing job real soon.

will be going for job interviews this Monday.

had enough of bullshits with the management!

i'll update more once i reach home aytes.

**toodles**

kimmyLostStarr

i had lo let evrything out in here

2009-05-16T17:11:00.002+08:00

so this is a picture taken last year. Hik's prom nite. Credits goes to Padi Bridal for making her look fabulous on that night.

this is taken last year too. before daddy left us.. we did manage to celebrate Hari Raya with Dad for the first week. the family in yellow & green are my aunt & unk. my aunt is my Dad's lil sister. They're evil in a way! i've seen their true colors ever since we're trying to be independent without Daddy.

the witch ; "Mak Busu"

she is a "Gold Digger"

the l0ving couple always & forever.
Momma & Daddy. The Lovebirds.

i miss him. miss his smiles.
esp,the shirt he's wearing.the doctor tear it apart.

our recent family photo on Hari Raya. no more family photo will be as

purrrr-fect as this anymore.

the 16year old pathetic girl,Dirastar

2009-05-16T16:19:00.002+08:00

& so i've uploaded a pic of Atik with Zul Kecyk. cute huh? haha

was asleep on the sofa with the TV watching me without any volume. Momma,Hik,Atik,Zaza & Zul Kecyk came home. they were from raffles place or something for Atik's bursary award. so proud of her! she did very well in her studies unlike me who lost interest in studies when i could still go far. at least get my 'n' level certs or sumthing? its not too late now tho. i cud still make it if i wanna go back to school.

work environment is full of bullshits! i was supposed to have my off day on Sunday,17th May. i did told them in advance sia! i've my DevotiousDiva Meeting cum Bowling sia. it's unlike me not to come for the meeting. gosh! i miss them but i had to werk for this stoo-pid company! fancy them suspend-ing the Philipines Crew Leader for 5days & now they're having problems with man power! im not your fucking robot,get it? LOSERS!

i slept for about 3hours today. i know,i know i need more than that. but i had to update my blog,eat my medicine & chill out with my family & Zul kecyk. & oh!! Kecyk was msn-ing with this so-called girl,Dirastar. she's a psycho maniac! DAMN crazy over kecyk!! when i look at their msn conversations,my hair stands. & i mean it! freaking standing tall! she was like posing in front her webby. making cute faces n etc. which i guess sooner or later,the webby lens could break into pieces! im not trying to criticize her but im just trying to state the facts! get this in mind. what would u do if a 16year old girl is crazy for u. keeps on telling u to turn on ur webby. & u guys will just stare at the webby without any conversations. omfg! stop it sia.

& oh. my jerky ex bf called me earlier when i was asleep. i dont wanna speak to him anymore. he's gotta learn the facts that i've moved on & ain't not gonna befriend with a jerk. so i told Kecyk to answer it instead. just a few ''Hello-s'' & Fazdil hang up. i feel relieved! he cud have wondered who the hell is holding my phone! haha. i'm so missing my darla. baby KAWA is still with him. Darla sent me to werk yest with baby Kawa. gosh. i miss my bike. but i miss Darla more!

darla is so sweet! he fell asleep in the evening yest. called him 15times on his cell. i gave up & tried calling his homie instead. his bro-in-law answered & said, ''Epul takder.."

then i was like ''HUH?! you SURE??"

a few minutes later,i heard Darla's momma shouting! gosh Darla was asleep. pity him. took him bout 2mins to answer the phone. he texted me just after we end the conversations. he said he's sorry coz he fell asleep. but he still wanna send me to werk. i was so touched sia! ^_^

**learn it,love it,live it**
♥kimmy-loved

2009-05-15T17:30:00.000+08:00

Learn to love the people,

who are willing,

to love u at present,

Forget the people in the past,

& thanks them for hurting you,

which led you to love,

the people you have right now,

Make a heart,

that never break,

Make a smile,

that never fails,

Make a touch,

that never pains,

Make a relationship,

that never ENDS.

''i always think life would always be perfect.

but i fail to realise that we're all humans with flaws.

i'm still learning to understand you,Dear.

& if i fail to see ur weaknesses,

please Forgive me.

i Love,care & cherish you.

i hope we'll stay intact,

no matter what.''

♥kimmyLOSTSTARR

15.05.2009 ♥ Friday ♥

2009-05-15T15:59:00.000+08:00

Finally i have my own blog now. i don't have to post any blog on my Tagged profile anymore. so basically,this blog will be updated about my new life with my family,my darla Epul, my beloved Devotious Diva & not to forget my beloved friends out there yaw!

I'll be busy with my life now. As u guys know my dad left us with a total shock on 11.10.2008. Quite shocking though 'coz Dad has never been down with any sickness. He's strong & has always been my superhero! Even though i fought with him ALOT at times. So now i guess i'll just have to concentrate on my career & stop job hopping! I too need to save some money for my future. Did i tell u before? Oh ya. I didnt,did i? yeaahhh! Me & Epul are planning to get engage soon. Not really sure when. 'coz i still havent met his families yet! cut it short!! I'm not ready 'coz i've got the feeling that his family won't like me. haha. ok Shadup Kimmy! err.. yeah. Life's different now. I've got my own bike now. Baby Kawasaki aka 'the lost starr' . I wonder when i could get my driving license!! pffftt!! i love driving compared to riding!

So,this Sunday i'll be having an important meeting with my Devotious Diva so i guess i won't be able to watch my Darla performing. hmm..

I'll be going for the Singapore Idols auditions,so babes & dudes please do support me yaw! Since i didn't make it to Anugerah,i guess why not try out for Singapore Idols too right?? haha. I hope i won't be as stiff as a wood sia!

Currently i'm working at Airport,BoostJuice Bar. Tell u something. The working environment Sucks to The core! Hell to THE yeah. Management Fcuking Corked UP! I hate it. They treated us like we're some kind of a cheap labour! Fancy asking us to work Overtime for them whereas we're not paid for our overtimes!! hmm. so i gueess.. this will be it ya? i'll update more soon! god's willing. Amin.

♥kimmyLostStarr